The Notebook

Yes, Christmas specialty lights...but how many?

2011-12-27T17:10:00.002-06:00

Many of our traditions unfortunately died with my father more than 20 years ago. One that didn't is the annual contest to count the number of lights on the Christmas tree.

When I was a kid, my father would put the lights on the tree (keeping track of the total on a small slip of paper) and my mother would finish decorating with the ornaments and garland.

The pictures here were taken from my tree. As you can see, the lights aren't your ordinary plain bulbs. No way!!! It's part of the tradition at my parent's house (mine too) to have only 'specialty' lights on the tree. My childhood included lights that were shaped like antique cars, gift boxes, icicles, lanterns, etc. I must admit, the unique shapes of the lights did add a different dimension to the job of counting the lights as it's easy to mistake a light for an ornament.

But I digress...

Starting on Christmas Eve and continuing through Christmas dinner, anyone and everyone could place their name and their guess on a tiny slip of paper, fold it up, and place it on the fireplace mantel.

After Christmas dinner, when everyone was sitting around the table drinking coffee and nibbling on one of at least five dessert options, my father would get up from the table and head to the fireplace. He'd flick his cigarette into the fireplace and collect all the scraps of paper from among the flock of porcelain angels my mother used to decorate the mantel.

My dad would read each name and number and, after the appropriate amount of ridicule was heaped on those whose guesses were WILDLY off the mark, he'd place each scrap in order on the tablecloth.

After taking out money for each of the third-, second-, and first-place guesses, my father would reach into his wallet for the magic number.

We all considered it a 'magic' number because even if it seemed that the strings of lights didn't change much (if at all) from year to year, the number DEFINITELY changed. I know this for a fact because at some point during my teen years, I got sick of NEVER even placing in the top three! and cheated. Yep, I kept my dad's list from the prior year. Still....NOTHING!

I never won.

Until this year.

Voiceover artist...rookie

2011-11-15T17:41:00.002-06:00

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where everyone around you knows EXACTLY what they're doing and you DO NOT? Or at least, you don't THINK you know what you're doing?

That was me yesterday.

I've been told many times that studio time is very expensive, so you NEVER want to be late to a booking (to record in a studio). That's why I arrived at the studio location 90 minutes early.

No, I didn't go in.

Instead, I did what any city girl would do when faced with a potentially life-changing appointment...I found the nearest coffee shop to get some caffeine and try to settle my nerves (okay, don't lecture me about caffeine not being good for a person's nerves...work with me!)

I was scheduled to record my first-ever paid voiceover spot (for a pharmaceutical company.) I was playing the role of a cancer patient who's become anemic. Not very cheerful, I know, but a very interesting role nonetheless.

Back to the coffee shop and jittery me. Who's sitting next to me at Dunkin Donuts? It was an older couple who was in town to visit their son who's being treated for cancer. As I spoke to them about their son, it occurred to me that no more perfect people could've been placed in my path to get me out of my own worries and focus on what's important. (And the coincidence of his diagnosis was not lost on me.)

45 minutes went by quickly and I headed to the studio. The engineer and producer and whoever else I met (5 people in total) were all very nice and professional. I, on the other hand, tried not to knock over the microphone or copy stand.

Entering the glass-enclosed studio, I put on the headphones and awaited instructions from the sound engineer and the producers of this spot.

Clear as anything, I heard a thump-thump, thump-thump in my headphones.

"Oh my God! Can they hear my heart pounding, too?" I thought.

Apparently not, because the engineer was ready to start recording.

Less than an hour (and about 50 'takes' later), we were done.

I have to say that I'm pretty proud of myself for one thing, at least. I covered up for a terrible rookie mistake (at least I think I covered up). The first page of my script listed my character's part as being paragraphs 2-9, so I only printed the first two pages of the 18-page script. (There was another character, an oncologist, who was recording after me.)

My guess was that my character only appeared at the beginning of this video, so I only needed to read from the first 2 pages (where paragraphs 2-9 appeared).

WRONG!

My character re-appeared in pages 14, 29-30 and 49-51!! So basically, I was performing some scripts that I had never seen before!!!

In this industry, this is called 'a cold read.'

Cold!?!?! For my first PAID job?!?!?

Since no one on the other side of the glass threatened to throw me out on my head, I guess I did okay.

And, they shouldn't call it 'a cold read' because I sure as hell was sweating!

Shiny, new...

2011-11-11T16:58:00.004-06:00

It's definitely autumn in Chicago now (with snow flurries shocking us yesterday), so I decided to don a few layers of fall-colored clothes and run some errands. I ran into a store-keeper acquaintance of mine and he noticed my metallic brown jacket.
"I love that color on you! You look like a penny!" he said as he headed into the stockroom.
And yes, with the economy as bad as it is, I took that as a compliment!

How old is too old?

2011-11-05T11:58:00.004-05:00

Driving around my neighborhood recently, I came across a peculiar sight rolling past me on a sidewalk nearby. The guy was wearing baggy jeans, gym shoes and a hoodie. Nothing particularly unusual there, right?
But still...
A question popped into my head, "If you are losing your hair, shouldn't you lose the skateboard, too?"

2011-10-19T14:26:00.003-05:00

The online application started out normal enough...name, address, phone number, work history, education, blah, blah, blah. Of course, if (like me) you haven't filled out a job application in a while, you may want to keep your resume handy (hell! I don't remember when I started that job...two jobs ago!?)
But then things got interesting. Like 'let's go back to math class' interesting.

7/8 divided by .25 =

Then there's this one.

Give me the next number in this series: 10 - 15 - 9 - 12 - 10 - ??

Yeah, stuff like that!

Finally, they got to something I'm a bit better at...words!

Which word does not belong? probationary - temporary - permanent - interim

How about?

If paychecks arrive on the second Friday of the month and today is Wednesday, Oct. 12, when is payday?

The first math question came exactly from my job application....for a seasonal employee at Target!

What year is this?

2011-10-11T11:56:00.002-05:00

Overheard in a public restroom the other day, 'You should take a chill pill!'

Karma connection??

2011-06-11T13:24:00.003-05:00

Has this ever happened to you?
I was participating in a research study. Waiting for a nurse to come in and draw my blood. My mind wandered and for no apparent reason, I thought about a surgery that I had had about two years ago (see photo above).
And then...and this is the weird part...about 30 minutes later my cell phone rings and it's the doctor who performed the surgery!! He's participating in a webcast about that type of surgery and wanted to know if I'd be willing to talk about it online!
(If the Twilight Zone theme music is playing in your head, too, I wouldn't be at all surprised.)
Photo is from my post-op stomach. If you are grossed out, just be happy I didn't post the photos of the INSIDE of my stomach!

Too much time, too litte $$$

2011-06-11T13:00:00.003-05:00

You would think that an unemployed person would have TONS of time to spare. But I've been incredibly busy!
I think this is the universe coming around to bite me in the ass after I had the aforementioned thought about another friend who is unemployed but 'didn't have the time' to attend a potentially helpful networking event.
Okay, it's not EXACTLY the same. Many of my activities are very soul-fulfilling, if not filling for my wallet. I've been involved in a number of research studies (okay, they do pay...and pretty well considering the time involved).
I've had 2 fMRIs in the past month and earned about $200 for them. A fMRI is a medical test that is similar to an X-ray except they don't use any radiation and they do use sound waves and magnets (so it's not dangerous).
Along with the fMRIs were a bunch of cognitive exams. Let's try one like the ones I did.
Read this list of words:
spinach
truck
giraffe
desk
motorcycle
cabinet
onion
subway
zebra
bookcase
boat
carrot
elephant
lamp

Okay, now close your eyes and try to repeat as many of those words as you can. No peeking!
Not so easy, is it? This was one of MANY cognitive exams I had to do. The tests were part of a study working with schizophrenic patients (but I was part of the control group). Interesting, huh?
I'm also involved with another group that studies the affects of pasta on women's diets and hormonal levels. Since I eat pasta at least 2-3 times per month, I could definitely get on-board with this study. And they pay to feed you!!!
Oh, I'm also the volunteer coordinator for a charity that I've been helping the last few years. We have a HUGE fundraiser coming up in July and I need to build an army of volunteers to make sure that everything runs well.
So far, I only have about 25 people (and I need about 70). Wish me luck!

Cooked to death

2011-04-18T17:30:00.003-05:00

Over my weekly Saturday breakfast with my 80-something mother, I mentioned what a wonderfully delicious dinner I had fixed for myself recently.
In an attempt to enjoy a balanced diet, I try to stick to the meat/starch/veggie plan, so dinner was as follows: boneless, skinless chicken breast in a honey & wine sauce with sweet potato coins and garlic asparagus.
Yummy, right?
My mother's comment: "You're getting to be too good a cook, you'll get fat!"
?!?!?!?!
My family has perfected the ability to take a positive accomplishment and spin it into a potentially deadly feat.
If I haven't said it before, let me say it now: My family is not supportive or encouraging.
There.

The universe is having target practice and I'm wearing a bull's eye

2011-04-08T16:05:00.001-05:00

Is this week over yet?
Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I'd REALLY like to stay home under the covers for, say, the next couple of days. Would anyone mind?
On Sunday, I treated myself to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. While I chatted with an usher, one of the Pittsburgh Pirates players ripped a batting practice ball into the left field stands and WHAM! hit me on the side of my face!!!
More embarrassed than hurt, I allowed the security personnel to take me to First Aid where I partook of some aspirin (no ice packs necessary). NEVER in the literally hundreds of baseball games I've attended have I been hit with a ball. Geez!!!
Oh, and the Cubs lost.
Fast-forward to Tuesday and another Cubs game. Although it's been pretty chilly here in Chicago, I had previously neglected to bring my 'Opening Day blanket.' It's a lovely, dark blue medium-sized blanket with wind-blocking vinyl on one side and a few straps to hold it together when it's folded up. Perfect to keep me warm during the spring at Wrigley.
Apparently, it's also a great target for the winged rats (i.e. seagulls) that have taken an early season-liking to the skies above the Friendly Confines.
You know where this is going, right?
Sure enough, during the late innings, I thought maybe someone had spilled a beer from the upper deck, but NO!!! two huge splatters of bird shit landed on my blanket-covered lap!
But my boys won, so YAY! for that.
I didn't attend the game on Wednesday, but instead ran some errands, including one that brought me southbound on I-55 just outside downtown Chicago. A large white van curved onto the exit ramp just to my right and then, without warning, swerved back into my lane!! Fortunately, the state of Illinois (and my mother) are correct in their opinion of my fine driving skills as I managed not to hit the moron.
Hope everyone else is having a MUCH better week!
If anyone needs me, I'll be under the covers.

The Case of the Missing Clothes

2011-03-09T17:12:00.002-06:00

I recently returned from my annual jaunt to the Cubs spring training in Arizona, but I was not a happy camper. Okay, since it was 36 degrees in Chicago and 76 in Arizona, it was understandable that I was in a bit of a snit going home (oh, how I love me some hot weather!!!)
My bad attitude was definitely of my own doing (isn't it always?), but a complete stranger single-handedly pulled me out of my doldrums with a random act of kindness.
Here's what happened...
While sitting on the grassy berm (thought I would write 'knoll' didn't ya?), I met a nice, single fellow who lived in the area and offered to go for a drink after the game. When he started to get in my car (I know, I know...never let strangers in your car!), I grabbed the 2 jackets and scarf that I was planning to wear home and threw them in the back seat of the rental car.
You know where this is going, don't you?
Yep, I left the three important articles in the car. (No, nothing came of the 'post-game drink.' Thanks for asking.)
Changing into my 'cold weather' clothes in the airport bathroom, I realized that I had no appropriate outerwear for the just-above freezing weather that would greet me in Chicago. Two long-sleeved shirts and jeans. That's it.
After making several unanswered calls to the rental car company, I stood in the gate area with a distinctly cranky look on my face (I'm sure, I'm not very good at hiding my emotions.)
"Well, I know why you were here," said Phoenix Inspector (we're going to call him PI) after noticing my long-sleeved Cubs shirt.
"Um, yeah." Did I mention I was NOT HAPPY?
It turns out PI lives in Phoenix, but comes to Chicago almost every other week. After hearing my stupid mistake, he offered to bring my belongings on his next trip (if/when the rental company finds them).
How nice is that?
We exchanged business cards and said our goodbyes prior to boarding our very-crowded flight.
Turns out, the rental car company found my clothes (after assuring them for the 50th time that the clothes were NOWHERE ELSE EXCEPT the backseat of the car). They asked for a credit card number and sent them to me via 3-day FedEx.
Happy ending!!!
Question: I considered calling PI and telling him the result, but offering to buy him a drink the next time he's in town just to repay his offer of kindness. That doesn't sound like a pick-up line, does it?

Bridal bouquet of maple leafs

2011-02-07T16:29:00.006-06:00

I just returned from a wedding in Canada. The bride is a Canadian friend who lived in Chicago up until about 3 years ago. She called me in December to tell me about the wedding and ask me if I could make it.
'Wouldn't miss it,' was my answer. It was true. Although we have grown apart since she left Chicago, I still consider her a good friend and wanted to be there for the biggest day of her life (so far, anyway).
The bride and her groom are both from small families (okay, small in comparison to my massive clan), so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when the entire reception totaled 30-40 people. That's essentially my immediate family...just for comparison sake.
Anyway, the ceremony was lovely, albeit different from the numerous over-the-top glamfests that I've been involved in. The bridal party included one matron of honor and one best man (both women). No religious ritual here. Just a female minister from some organization I'd never heard of, reading some wonderful, heartwarming sentiments followed by vows and ring exchange and wrapped up with the reading of a poem by a family friend.
Did I mention it was lovely? Simple, direct, unique and wonderful.
The reception wasn't really the typical reception, but I expected nothing less. It was dinner in a private room (with a fireplace!) in a steakhouse/bar that the bridal couple frequent. There were no ceremonial introductions, no receiving line, no DJ or band, no tossing of the bouquet, no garter snatching and tossing, no first dance.
Lovely!
I was seated with another American, a friend whom I hadn't seen in several years. Aside from the bridal couple, this woman was one of only four people in the room that I had EVER met!
It's always interesting and exciting when there are lots of new people to meet...in another country to boot!. People who didn't know you weren't popular in high school, wore braces for three years and were a bit pigeon-toed in grammar school. A fresh new start in socializing!! Yay!
Nevertheless, at least three complete strangers came up to me and said, 'Oh, YOU'RE (The Writer)!'
Am I wearing a sign?

I'll take a nametag and a bar of soap

2011-01-30T15:46:00.003-06:00

In a feeble attempt to expand my social horizons, I've taken to frequenting a restaurant/bar that's just down the road from my condo. I describe it as a 'feeble' attempt because I stop at this place probably two or three times a month. So I'm not exactly a 'regular,' but I've managed to get to know some employees and a few actual regulars.
Part of my expanded social horizon also includes volunteer work. One of the charities I support is run by people in Atlanta, so if they need something done locally, I'm one of the people they call.
Not long ago, I had a brilliant idea to ask my 'hang out' if they would offer specialty drinks to benefit the Atlanta-based charity. They were 'happy to help,' according to the bar manager.
Yay!!
The drink recipes had already been created by the charity, so I organized the necessary signage for the bar and prepared to talk up the new creations among my new fellow regulars.
Fast forward to last night, my first opportunity to actually try the new creations and work on my sales techniques with a Saturday night crowd.
Selling drinks, not me, mind you.
I sat at the crowded bar and ordered the tequila-based creation. I took a sip. Hmmn....it's not as sweet as I thought it might be (with juices and agave nectar in it). I think I like it and I would expect men would like it because it's not a 'girly' drink.
In the middle of my internal diagnosis of the cocktail, the man sitting directly on my right suddenly spun around and extended his hand.
"I didn't realize who I was sitting next to?! Ms. Sawyer?"
Confused, I shook my head.
"Diane Sawyer?"
Okay, the ABC News corespondent is an attractive woman, but she's 20 years older than me!!!
In order to keep myself from saying something unnecessarily rude to this guy, I just shook my head again and turn to the guy sitting on my left. He had just taken the seat and seemed to be alone.
And then I found out why.
A wall of funky, sweaty b.o. hit me as I turned toward him. There certainly wasn't enough tequila in my new cocktail to offset this assault.
I lifted my drink and my coat and retreated to the other corner of the bar.
So, how was your Saturday night?

That's what friends are for, right?

2011-01-22T23:14:00.003-06:00

I've always wondered how it is that guys can reconnect with a friend after many years apart and just pick up where they left off...like they started the conversation just yesterday. Like the past, oh, 10 or 20 years never happened.
And then SusieQ sat down and reminded me about how I barfed on a Southern Illinois highway some 20+ years ago after a significant number of tequila sunrises. Ah, those were the days!!
This past week has been full of wonderful surprises. I'm so happy that I was able to catch up with two friends who played very different roles in my life then and still do today. Okay, Kung Fu Girl entered my life just a few years ago, but we seemed so similiar even at the start of our friendship that we try to keep in touch at least semi-annually.
SusieQ, however, is a friend from my college days. She's one of those rare people that could probably tell a number of terribly embarrassing stories about me if given the opportunity in the right company.
Note to self: Never introduce SusieQ to my current group of friends!
It's funny how people who've skipped massive chunks of the dramatic periods in your life can somehow skip right through to the core of who you are just at the time when that core-drilling needs doing? (Does that make any sense?)
Anyhow, thank you, Kung Fu girl, for helping me sort out some current insanity and reminding me that I'm probably on the right track in my life. And to SusieQ for reminding me that a little insanity is often a good thing.

Happy New Year!!

2011-01-01T18:30:00.004-06:00

I was returning from my mother's home in the suburbs, just about to pull into my condo's underground garage when I saw the young man with the food delivery jump out of his parked car. Trouble was, he parked behind my building and he would be towed if he left his car there.
How did I know? Because approximately 8 or 9 years ago (before I had a leased parking spot), I left my car in that exact spot and got towed in under 3 minutes. (The bastards at Lincoln Towing are nothing if not efficient!)
"You can't park there," I said to him as he walked toward the building across from mine. "You'll get towed!"
"Okay, thanks," he said as he climbed back in and started his car.
I pulled into my garage, pleased in the knowledge that I had just saved someone from the crappy fate of a towed car on New Year's Day.
I smiled as I stepped out of my car and started walking toward the door to the elevators for my building.
A shirt box containing pajamas from my mother were in my left hand, my purse was slung over my shoulder and a bag containing wine bottles (from my brother) were in my right hand, so I would have to do some maneuvering to get the door to the elevator bank open.
A man I had never seen before (in a Cubs sweatshirt and pajama pants) emerged from the door with a plastic laundry hamper. He started to walk across the garage floor, looked at me for a split-second and then turned around and went back to the door.
He opened the door and stood there, holding it for me.
"Thank you," I smiled at the kind gesture.
And there it was....the good karma of the world in complete equilibrium.
Pass it on.

To call back or not to call back?

2010-12-17T18:08:00.002-06:00

So I get a call from a male friend (WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, so everyone calm down). He's back in town from a trip to somewhere lovely and warm and wants me to come out for a drink (and to listen to him gloat and show off his tan).
I'm not doing anything interesting at home, so I go. Turns out, he's invited several friends (most of whom I've never met). I'm cool with that since I enjoy meeting new people.
Within an hour of my arrival, there are four or five of us around the table and I'm the only female. Again, not a problem for me. In fact, my friend received a text from somewhere else in the bar asking 'who's the blonde?'
My friend waves his cell phone at me and tells me that I got promoted.
The group of us start having several conversations at once. I'm from a large family, so this is a pretty common situation. The guy I'm talking to happens to be a Chicago cop. Since I've been a magnet for parking tickets this year, I figure I'll make friends. You never know, right?
I decided almost immediately that was a bad idea and I'll let you guys decide if I was right with my intuition.
The cop and I trade cell phone numbers ('in case I ever get in trouble and need to get things straightened out,' he says).
The group breaks up around 11:30 and I go home and go to bed (I'm not all that interesting, did I mention that?)
The following day I check my cell phone and I got a text from the cop.
"R U still out?"
It was 2:30 am!
I received another text later that week....at 1:30 am.

NOT the next Food Network star

2010-12-14T18:42:00.002-06:00

My 80-something mother has long had a habit of having long telephone conversations with total strangers. She has been known to make a rather large purchase (like a new roof for her house) OVER THE PHONE! So when she relayed this story to me, I wasn't entirely surprised...only terribly dismayed.
Apparently, my mother's homeowners insurance and auto insurance rates have increased dramatically recently with no good reason. Mom isn't usually one to fight the system, but surprisingly, she took it upon herself to call someone and discuss the situation.
A young lady in Omaha (?) answered the phone when Mom called about her homeowners insurance. After about 25 minutes, the young lady was able to determine that Mom's rates shouldn't have been so high and was able to bring them down to a manageable level.
Mom was pleased.
The young lady asked my mom (apropos of nothing) if she bakes.
"Um, yes, sometimes," my mother replied.
"Well, my grandmother used to bake bread from scratch," the Omaha miss explained. "A few years after she died, I decided I would try to make some bread. I went to the store and asked if they had scratch."

I am not making this up.

Some 'friend,' huh?

2010-11-14T15:24:00.002-06:00

I guess I could consider it a 'blast from the past,' but truth is...this is a past I'd pretty much rather forget.
Checking my email accounts the other day, I came across a 'friend request' from my ex-husband. At least I THINK it was from him. He has a very common name and there have been past 'friend requests' from people I've never met. There was no photo attached and when I clicked on his name, there was no background information on the sender.
Anyway...what to do?
Some background.
We were married for five years to.the.day. Yep, we filed for divorce on our fifth anniversary. It was a very low-key, no-muss, no-fuss divorce. We went our separate ways and that was that...until about 4 years ago when I got a phone call from a lawyer who was looking for my ex.
How and why did they find me? In the years since the divorce, I had returned to my maiden name and purchased a condo approximately 45 minutes from the home we had shared during the marriage.
In the phone call with the lawyer, I discovered that my ex owed approximately $20,000 in credit card debt and legal fees. But why call me? Apparently, my name was on the credit card account - even though the account was opened after the divorce was final!
I relayed this information to the lawyer and then told him the town where my ex's parents lived (last I heard anyway). Maybe they knew where he was because I had no contact at all in the years since the divorce.
Nice, huh?
And, yes, I ignored the 'friend' request.

Television karma

2010-10-30T14:19:00.002-05:00

The hostess of this fashion-themed TV show was telling her new client that ideally, she should be able to pick three things out of her closet and just KNOW that they will go together.
"Just like Garanimals," I thought to myself, remembering not only the child-geared clothing line that matches separates by their animal tags, (Lion-tagged tops match lion-tagged bottoms, etc.) but a dearly departed friend of mine who used to joke that he used Garanimals to pick out his clothing (in his adult years).
As the show went to commercial, I walked to my kitchen for a snack, still thinking of my pal, Bob, who died much too young in a car accident.
Bright colors and bouncy music brought my attention back to the TV screen...just in time to see a commercial for (wait for it)...

Garanimals.

Those crazy folks in Elgin

2010-10-25T19:12:00.002-05:00

It's rare that I can read the newspaper and find something funny. Today was a rare day.

Woman Calls 911 from Police Car

A woman being arrested for DUI early Friday morning called 911 from an Elgin squad car, police said.

Andrea Eichenold, 50, from the 800 block of Willow Street in Lake in the Hills, was driving on Dundee Avenue in Elgin about 1:30 a.m. when police noticed she wasn’t staying in her lane and then ran over a curb as she made a right turn, according to a police report.

She was stopped and officers reported that her breath smelled like alcohol. When she got out of her car, she left it in drive and it hit a concrete parking barrier, which she told police was because she was nervous. But she failed three field tests and refused to take a breath test, the report said.

Eichenold was put into the back of a squad car while police inventoried her vehicle. When they returned, they found her on the phone with a 911 dispatcher saying she was being detained by police and didn’t know why.

She was charged with DUI and improper lane usage and released after posting $100 bond.

World Wide Web of Sports

2010-09-17T13:40:00.004-05:00

So much for being anonymous, right? Starting tomorrow afternoon at 3:00 Central time, I will be co-hosting a sports talk radio show right here on the lovely internet. If you ever wondered what 'The Writer" sounds like, here's your chance to find out.
How odd is that, huh?
I've been a fan of Chicago sports since...well, probably since I was in grammar school. I remember coming home from school and turning on WGN TV and watching the Chicago Cubs games. Back then, they used to have all their home games during the day and several afternoon games didn't start till 3pm, so I could run the three blocks home from school and not miss more than an inning or two.
How did I fall into this (hopefully) wonderful opportunity?
Dumb luck, I guess. I answered an ad (also on the internet). Geez! What did we ever DO before the internet. I don't know, maybe TALK to each other and actually SEE each other?! Now we just plant ourselves in front of our little screens and 'interact.'
But I digress...
The boss is some Chicago sports fan who lives and works in Dallas. Apparently, he's also a writer and has a book out now. He plans to have me and my co-host interview him about his sports-related book on the show tomorrow...for an HOUR!!! It's supposed to be the second hour of the 2-hour premiere. Personally, if we spend an hour talking about a book, I'm certain we'll lose whatever fans we are lucky enough to attract.
But that's just MY opinion.
So feel free to tune in (and maybe send us an email or call in...if you want to chime in with your feelings about Chicago sports) and then feel free to turn off the second hour and...I don't know, go outside! play with your dog!! go shopping at a mall!!! dine in a restaurant!! DO SOMETHING WITH PEOPLE!
Yes, as I sit here at my computer, I realize the irony in that statement, so I'm going to leave you with this information: Sept., 18, 3pm Central time, www.chicagonationsports.com/radio.
It's a lovely day outside, so I'm outta here!

When is family not family, part II

2010-08-31T18:44:00.003-05:00

Let's see....when I first glanced at the stationery-grade envelope, I noticed that my first name had been spelled wrong. Upon second inspection, it seems the addresser also listed the wrong apartment number (fortunately, my mail carrier knows me).
Yep, another invitation from a person who wouldn't know me if I slapped her face (which I wouldn't do because, hey! I don't know her either).
I just received an invite for a wedding. It's not from a brother or sister, a cousin, a nephew or niece, a coworker or even a former coworker! The wedding is my cousin's daughter's wedding.
There are a lot of families out there who are very close to their 'second-string' relatives. (By that I mean the aunts, uncles and cousins as opposed to the first-string relatives of mother, father, brother and sister.)
We are not one of those families...at least not at my end of the family tree.
I'm the youngest of a very large immediate family with more than 15 years separating me and my eldest sibling. I don't talk to - - much less see my cousins more than once or twice a year.
So, no, I'm not attending the wedding. Question is...do I send a present/check?
Please advise.

Pasta + red wine = good times!

2010-08-30T11:54:00.002-05:00

I belong to a fun group of people in Chicago who have started a BYOB club. That's 'bring your own booze/bottle' for those of you who reside in a hole.
Every month, we hit a different BYOB restaurant in the city. It's a great way to check out restaurants that may be outside your neighborhood and may be different types of food that you wouldn't normally eat, but hey, it's a good time. And it's cheap(er).
And it's my turn to suggest a place. Ooooh, the pressure!
In the five-month existence of the BYOB club, we've mainly been eating at either Latin or Asian restaurants. Funny how so many Cuban, Mexican, Thai and Chinese places are BYOB (at least in Chicago). That's fine, but I wanted something different. I found an Italian place that's BYOB!!!
Let the chianti flow!
But, of course, since about 10-20 people will be dining in a restaurant of my choosing, I decided to do a reconnaissance mission and eat there.
It's a tiny place that features mainly 2- and 4-person tables. Where would our group sit?? I spotted a smallish room in the back separated only by a half-wall, perfect for a group our size. Okay, seating won't be a problem. Check!
The menu was pretty substantial with plenty of pasta, chicken, veal, beef and seafood dishes plus several choices of appetizers, soups and salads.
Something for everyone. Check!
I ordered a basic balsamic vinaigrette salad and baked gnocchi. For the ground-dwellers, gnocchi is a pasta-looking item that's made from potatoes. Looks a bit like a small seashell, but wonderfully soft and airy. Yum!
The salad was fine (I'm not a big salad fan, but thought I should try it out. Recon, ya know!) The gnocchi dish was HUGE!!!! And, oh, did I mention it's made from potatoes?!? So after eating about a third of it, I wanted to roll off my chair and pass out!
Ensuring that no one leaves hungry? Check!
One possible issue is the price. Each main dish is almost $20. Add appetizers and possibly desserts and we're looking at probably $40 per person (including tax and tip). Past BYOB dinners averaged about $20-25 per person.
Hmmm....

Can't fight the system, huh?

2010-08-13T17:39:00.002-05:00

So the letter said, "It is the finding of the Administrative Law Judge that the information submitted supports a determination that the violation did not occur. Consequently, you are not responsible for the fine."
HA! Take that, city hall!!!
I got a parking ticket for not having a receipt in my car window. For those of you who haven't experienced the lovely, relatively new meter system in Chicago, let me explain: when you park in almost any commercial area of Chicago, you have to 'buy your time' by inserting either quarters or a credit card and purchasing a receipt that shows the latest time you will be departing your parking spot. So if the receipt reads '9:15 pm,' you have to either move your car or purchase another receipt before 9:15 pm or else you get a ticket (if they catch you).
Since there are only 2 or 3 parking meters for each block, you have to leave your parked car unguarded to walk down the street and purchase your receipt. Oftentimes, an overly eager cop will issue your ticket while you're buying your receipt!
This has happened to me at least twice in the past 6 months.
Here's the loophole...if you send a letter and your receipt (printed within 5 minutes of the ticket's issuance time) to the ticketing agency, you can fight 'the man.'
And possibly win, like I did - - both times!
Oh, did I mention that you're only supposed to be able to challenge one ticket per year???
Oops!

They put their pants on one leg at a time, too. Right?

2010-08-05T11:19:00.003-05:00

It's funny how I've been going to a bunch of charity events lately. It seems that when I don't have the money to spend, opportunities to run up a big credit card bill arrive at every corner.
It'll come as no surprise to those that know me that the event was a sports-related one. So here I was surrounded by professional athletes and those who cheer them. It was a country music-themed event (not my style) and filled with cutesy 20-something chicas, but I was determined to have a good time anyway.
Of course, where there are professional athletes, there will be a VIP-only area complete with an earpiece-equipped, black-suited security man. Unfortunately, I didn't have access to the private area, but I found a spot at the bar that had a great view of the stage and close proximity to the VIP room.
Enter the athletes, some of whom I've met before and at least one who knows me by name and always gives me a kiss on the cheek 'hello.' And then there are the other guys, the athletes who view adoring fans as a necessary evil and would rather lose the World Series than have a lengthy conversation with said fans.
One pro (who fell squarely in the second camp), himself a 6-foot-5, muscular stud, stood near the big, burly doorman and motioned to him. I didn't hear the conversation but was able to figure out that our celebrity athlete was trying to find the men's room. Did I mention that this sports guy makes more $$$ per year than I (and many people) will collect in our entire working careers?!
So Studly Pro Athlete is directed to the restrooms that were located on the farthest side of the room from the VIP area, completely accessible to everyone at the event.
When Studly Pro Athlete realized that he would have to whip 'it' out in front of mere mortals.....well, the look on his face was priceless!!! Totally worth the entrance fee!
What made it even better was the fact that a teammate of Studly Pro Athlete (who is much shorter and less muscular) needed the facilities, too, and didn't seem to mind peeing with the common man.

George who?

2010-07-24T17:07:00.004-05:00

Do you know anyone who has Down Syndrome or someone in their family has it? I'd put money on it that you also know someone whose family member has DiGeorge Syndrome.
Never heard of it, have you?
Apparently, with 1 in 1200 births exhibiting some of the more than 180 possible symptoms, DiGeorge Syndrome is almost as common as Down Syndrome, but it's terribly difficult to diagnose. It's the partial deletion of the 22q11.2 chromosome. How did I come to learn about this ailment, much less care enough to post something about it?
It goes back to my Chicago Cubs involvement. And my interest in charity work.
Ryan Dempster is a starting pitcher for the Cubs and a guy I met about 3 or 4 years ago. He's been on the team for about 6 years and is one of the most down-to-earth professional athletes you'll ever meet. (And, if you live in the area around Wrigley Field, you might meet him in one of the local shops or riding his bike with his family.)
His daughter Riley was born 15 months ago and within four days of her birth, was diagnosed with DiGeorge Syndrome. She couldn't swallow, so a tracheotomy (sp?) tube was inserted, which is how she got nutrition. With physical therapy, Riley has progressed to the point where the trach tube was removed a few months ago. Yay, Riley!
At first, Ryan and his gorgeous wife Jenny didn't want to disclose their daughter's health issues. After many discussions, they decided to use Ryan's popularity to help other families whose children have DiGeorge Syndrome. They created the Dempster Family Foundation to raise cash and interest in the disorder. Their first big fundraiser was this week at the House of Blues in Chicago. Of course, I volunteered.
'We' had at least 700 people in attendance including the ENTIRE Chicago Cubs team (looking very hot in tuxedos!) I don't know the final tally, but if the silent auction items are any indication, the event should've raised a TON of money:
- autographed Mickey Mantle baseball (New York Yankee Hall of Famer, for my European friends who don't know baseball)
- autographed framed photo of Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman (when all 3 were busy winning NBA titles for the Chicago Bulls). Apparently, less than 300 copies of this photo exist!
- 2 tickets to the 2010 World Series with airfare and hotel included!
- autographed photos and pucks from the Stanley Cup-winning Chicago Blackhawks. (Oh, did I mention that a bunch of Blackhawk players attended too?)
And a lot of other cool stuff.
I've heard from sooo many attendees saying what a great time they had. Fortunately, the Cubs had a day off following the event, so they could recover from what was an energy-packed night starting with a casino night where Cubs players were the dealers and a country music concert with Gary Allen. For me, it was a fabulous opportunity to not only help a very worthwhile cause, but actually have conversations with some of the Cubs players.
There are more and more websites popping up about this topic, but if you'd like to check out the Dempster's info, please go to www.dempsterfamilyfoundation.org
Thank you for your attention. Now back to your regularly scheduled internet blogs.

People say the nicest/strangest things

2010-07-24T17:00:00.002-05:00

I've been frequenting a store called Brown Elephant. It's very much like an indoor garage sale because the merchandise is donated and the proceeds benefit the gay and lesbian community in my neighborhood (didn't tell you that I live in a gay neighborhood? my bad. Pretty safe for a single hetero girl, methinks.)
I'm all about helping causes...especially when I can find a seasoned cast iron griddle for $5!
Anyway, I was strolling through today when an older black gentleman walked up to me and said something that I didn't quite catch. (I was listening to the Cubs game on my ancient am/fm radio complete with earplug).
"I think it's 'eloquent,'" he said as I removed my ear piece. "Is that how you say it?"
"Um, yes, that's the word," I replied, having no idea what he was talking about.
"You look very eloquent," said the stranger.
So, I have that going for me.

Still got it?

2010-07-19T15:40:00.003-05:00

I live in what's commonly known as "Boystown," a neighborhood of Chicago that has a large gay population. It's a pretty comfortable place for a straight, single woman to live, especially if she really doesn't want a lot of male attention...or at least wants to have some sense of control over such attention.
Which brings me to the situation that occurred the other night after a Cubs game. It was hot and humid, as it tends to be in Chicago in the summer. Smart women know that one of the coolest outfits for a woman to wear in hot/sticky weather is a sundress. Lovely, easy-to-wear, cotton sundresses are FABULOUS when you want to look cool and not like a hot mess.
Anyway, after watching the Cubs win(!), I (in my sundress) walked home alone and while waiting for a traffic light to change, I heard a car pull up near me. I didn't bother to check them out (remember: boystown), but apparently the feeling wasn't mutual.
"May I see your breasts?" came the crude, but polite request.
I surpressed a laugh and, no, I did not oblige!
Maybe if he had said please.

Let 'em Drink Cake

2010-07-14T12:55:00.003-05:00

At the risk of this blog become a foodie hangout, I was hesitant to share with you the two shot recipes that I learned recently while on a rare evening out. Some of these may be 'the usual' for you, but as a woman who really doesn't 'do shots,' I was pleasantly surprised at how good (and not gag-worthy) they were.

Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
1 part Vanilla Vodka
1 part Pineapple Juice
splash Cherry Juice

YUM!!!

Fudgy Chocolate Cake
3 parts plain vodka
1 part Frangelico (hazelnut liquor)

That's it, nothing chocolate in it at all, but it really tastes chocolaty!

Have fun!

Snack attack for the curious cook

2010-06-21T18:11:00.002-05:00

The other night, I was planning to go to one of the gloriously FREE outdoor movies that the Chicago Park District sponsors when I realized that a portable snack would definitely be in order.
Just so you know, the movies aren't the 50-year-old 'classics' (although that would be great, too). My cinematic freebie was "The Blind Side." Nice flick.
A snack is normally an option, take-it-or-leave-it, but not for me.
Since I started working out 5 days a week, I'm hungry ALL THE TIME.
Popcorn is the natural choice for movie-watching, right? I decided to go 'old school' and make popcorn the way my dad used to, in a huge pot with a bit of oil. But I just couldn't leave well enough alone and just butter and salt it, could I? Nooooo.
One batch was the sweet one with melted butter mixed with cinnamon/sugar.
The second batch was a challenge because I wanted something savory (yes, I watch the Food Network! shut it!) I had planned to make a garlic and parmesan cheese popcorn, but I didn't have enough cheese (question: is there ever enough cheese?)
Spinning my spice/herb lazy susan, I came across 'Mesquite Bar-B-Q Spice.'
Fabulous!!!
There will be more outdoor movies to enjoy, so I'm asking if anyone has any other popcorn-flavoring ideas?

Rod the Mod(el citizen)

2010-06-20T21:06:00.003-05:00

My 83-year-old mother is a fan of Rod Stewart.
Yes, THAT Rod Stewart!
No, she doesn't hum 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy' while baking oatmeal cookies, but she was very excited when I presented her with a copy of Rod Stewart's CD 'Songbook' (part two, I think). She was almost as thrilled recently when she opened my Mother's Day gift to her (two expensive hotel-quality king-size pillows)...I hope there's no connection.
Let me explain.
Apparently, Rod Stewart has long been a fan of 'the classics.' I don't mean Beatles music or any tunes from the 1960s or even the 1950s.
Try the '40s.
Yep, he of the blond spiky hair and gravelly voice used to sing the old music as a warm-up before taking the stage to perform his sex-fueled anthems.
Cole Porter. George Gershwin. Hoagy Carmichael.
The Songbook collection is actually four CDs. I have I and II and my mother has I and IV. When she found out that I had one of the CDs that is absent from her collection, she actually whined a bit. So, being the good daughter I am, I had to get the missing two.
Did I mention that my mother is 83?!

The Cup - World, not Stanley

2010-06-20T20:41:00.005-05:00

Did I mention that I used to be a sportswriter? Okay, take that background and add a very rules-oriented personality and you might understand why I am more than a little perplexed at the situation that arose in the World Cup match between the U.S. and Slovenia.
Rules are rules, right? And they're written down in a book somewhere. And the umpires, referees, judges, or whatever they're called, know the rules and can quote line and verse. The people charged with enforcing these rules have to know every single one of them explicitly. They must know when to blow the whistle and when not to.
Right?
Then can SOMEONE please explain how a goal can be disallowed by one soccer official and yet no one in the stadium knows what the infraction is...and the official is not asked to explain the call?!
Who is this official? All I know about him is this was the first World Cup match he's been called upon to officiate.
Hmmn...
How do we know he's just not a dainty, delicate little fellow who's angry that some U.S. player, oh, I don't know, maybe farted near him and didn't say 'excuse me.'???
If anyone out there has the inside scoop on this, please let me know. Meanwhile, I'll just sit here and fume...

First time since 1961!!!

2010-06-12T20:54:00.004-05:00

For weeks we've been on the edges of our bar stools, cheering every goal and clutching our hearts at every impossible save by our goalie and finally, FINALLY!!! the Chicago Blackhawks have won the Stanley Cup!
None of the current players were even born the last time our Hawks were the champions of the National Hockey League. You want a wild and crazy hockey game? Well, how about a month of them! In the finals against the Philadelphia Flyers, one of our players lost SEVEN TEETH while blocking a shot! (We love you, Duncan Keith!)
For a city whose two baseball teams are stinking up the place, we really needed something to celebrate.
So...we had a little party.

Congratulations to the 2010 National Hockey League champion Chicago Blackhawks and series MVP Jonathan Toews!

Universal party line

2010-06-07T18:30:00.002-05:00

While watching the Cubs game on TV, I saw a reporter pal of mine sitting in the stands (in Pittsburgh, not Chicago). The announcers knew him too, and started ripping on him for his choice of seats since he had apparently told them that he wanted to get a foul ball (and since there were practically NO FANS at the game, it shouldn't be too difficult).
For the non-baseball fans reading this, it should be known that 'good foul ball territory' is usually considered somewhere behind first base or third base, normally on the ground level. My buddy, however, was sitting in the upper deck and not very likely to snag the precious souvenir from there. Oh, did I mention that this reporter friend is a SPORTS REPORTER (and should know better?!?!)
Having heard the bad-mouthing from the TV announcers, I texted this pal and informed him of the good-natured harassment. A few minutes later, the TV crew scanned the crowd and couldn't locate my friend in the upper deck area. The announcers mentioned that my pal re-located after hearing that he was being ripped by them.
GEEZ!! I text it here and it comes out there!

Later that same day, I strolled through a resale shop in my neighborhood. I really LOVE this place! It's like a huge garage sale with everything from furniture to clothing to books and CDs to costume jewelry (you might remember this when you see me wearing a necklace that looks very much like a small black rosary adorned with a French cross).
Anyway.
I've taken to shopping here occasionally. It's not like going to Target or Macy's or an actual department store where you will definitely find what you need because, well, they keep it in stock!
Picture walking up to a garage sale and asking the homeowner if they have a glass measuring cup. Hell! I don't know! Look around! would probably be the response.
Like I said, it's not Target.
Would you believe not once or twice, but at least three times I've walked into this huge, messy emporium with a certain purchase in mind...AND FOUND EXACTLY THAT ITEM! (Today it was a pepper grinder for those of you keeping track.)
What wavelength I'm operating on is not known, but at least I'm not alone there.

Another school year ends

2010-06-01T10:04:00.003-05:00

I was at church on Sunday. Yes, I go to church most Sundays. Maybe it's just a force of habit since I was raised Catholic, went to a Catholic grammar school, etc. Maybe I just find it comforting to have a peaceful place to think through my issues.
But I digress...
So here I sat at mass at 9:30 a.m. and I spotted a small group of blue-robed would-be graduates in the first few rows of the church, their square-topped caps sporting a gold tassel hanging on the left (that's how I knew they hadn't graduated yet...you move the tassel to the right after receiving your diploma).
I wasn't distressed to think that the presence of a large group of school kids might lengthen the time of the mass. I wasn't curious to know who's the class valedictorian, the class clown, the most-likely-to-succeed. I wasn't bored to hear the priest doling out words of wisdom to the class of 2010.
I was soooo jealous of the times that lay ahead of them. At 12 or 13 years old, they haven't even taken drivers ed yet MUCH less had to figure out car payments and insurance rates.
They haven't had to ignore that gossiping, immature idiot in the office cubicle next to theirs. They haven't had to surpress their nervousness as they prepare to present an idea in a corporate boardroom. And how to ask for that raise that they really need and deserve?!?!
Sitting there, sweating in their robes, they don't realize that opportunities await, chances to re-invent themselves. If their grammar school years showed them to be a smart, but nerdy guy, they had the chance to go to high school, meet so many different people and be the most popular class valedictorian in years!
If their grade-school pals were fun but dragged them down (troublemakers, lazy kids, not creative at all), they could make a new group of friends and take up new hobbies, try new classes (psychology? home economics?) and open up a whole new world for themselves.
As the royal blue-robed students filed past, I found myself green with envy.
I want a do-over!

When is family not family?

2010-05-22T21:44:00.002-05:00

I just got an invitation to a party. An actual printed, US-posted missive asking me to join in a celebration. How cool is that? I love parties!
And I plan to completely ignore it.
Before you ask why I've got a stick up my butt about this particular party, let me explain a few things:
I'm the youngest of a LARGE family. My eldest sibling was in Vietnam when I was in grammar school, so the age gap is pretty significant. Most of my brothers and sisters are/were married and have kids, so the extended family is the size of suburban Chicago.
To illustrate this disparity in ages, let me point out that I have three grand-nephews (is that a word? sons of nephews?) and a nephew-by-marriage (my brother's stepson) also has a full family of his own.
And then there are the cousins. My family's fertility apparently knows no bounds.
I have...wait, let me count them up...I have to get a piece of paper and list them. Okay, how horrible is it that I had to go and find the Excel spreadsheet that a distant cousin made up during a family reunion several years ago?!?! I couldn't remember them all!
When I was a little kid (attending one of the aforementioned family reunions), I thought an elder cousin was, in fact, my aunt. Honest mistake, though, since there is just three tiny years' difference between me and that cousin's oldest CHILD!
Okay, here's the total. I have 20 first cousins. Add to that eight siblings, those siblings' kids (18 plus 1 stepson) and you have an army that could take over Australia.
Back to the invitation.
It's not from one of my brothers or sisters.
It's not from a nephew or niece.
It's not from a cousin.
It's an invitation to the eighth grade graduation of the oldest son of a cousin that I see approximately twice per year.
WTF?!
Just because we happen to have some watered-down version of the same blood flowing through our veins is not good enough reason to invite me to your party. (I know the invite was his mother's idea, not his. Still.) This teenager and I would not recognize each other if we passed in the street.
I'm not going to the party and you can't make me.
Where do you draw the line?

Recipes anyone??

2010-04-26T18:39:00.004-05:00

Been watching WAAAAYYY too much of the Food Network lately. So much so that it led me to run to the nearest store and purchase a food processor.
Okay, let me back up a bit and admit that I didn't just run willy-nilly and throw cash at the first plastic bowl that had a blade attached. I did a bit of research (just enough to know that I didn't need to spend the national debt to get a decent one), but I will admit to falling for a commercial pitch.
Giada somebody-or-other hosts one of the myriad of cooking shows that I watch - - often. I'm not sure how she does this. but she manages to show every.single.tooth.in.her.head when she smiles (which she does a lot on her Food Network show). Didn't actually know a person could smile that big. Try it! It kinda hurts and you still don't show all the bottom teeth (at least I don't).
But I digress...
Anyway, she has a line of kitchen items at Target and they aren't terribly expensive. Seriously, my friends from outside the US will have another thing that they love about America and don't have where they live if they EVER shop at a Target store. Cute styles of clothes and sassy housewares, old-fashioned board games for the whole family, even a small grocery store.
Okay, can you tell I'm hungry since I can't keep a solid thought in my head?!?!
Anyway, please send whatever food processor recipes (that aren't terribly complicated or include ingredients unknown in the US, thank you) to me if you get the chance. Me and my new kitchen gadget would greatly appreciate it!

Red pen at the ready

2010-04-25T18:26:00.003-05:00

Is it neice or niece?
Does the period go inside the quotation marks or outside?
When do you spell out a number?
Their, they're or there?
Alot or a lot?
'Somewhat unique' is an impossible phrase. Why?
Just between you and I? Or just between you and me?
The squirrels who ate my garden or the squirrels that ate my garden...?

Are we having fun yet? Try SIX HOURS of this!!!

Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, let me admit that I signed up for this. Paid for it, in fact. The class is called "Proofreading," or, as we like to call it, "Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation for Anal People...and We Mean That in a Good Way."

Yes, I'm one of those people that gets a tiny but excruciating cramp in my brain when I see something spelled wrong in a national ad or hear someone use the wrong tense. Don't even get me started on 'ain't' and 'don't got none.' (involuntary shudder)

For those of you who can't help but be curious about the list at the top of this post, I'll let you get your aspirin before I give you the answers.

Is it neice or niece? Niece
Does the period go inside the quotation marks or outside? Periods and commas go inside the quotation marks.
When do you spell out a number? In general, numbers under 10 are spelled out (unless they deal with weights, ages, addresses, dates and a bunch of other exceptions.
Their, they're or there? Their is a possessive pronoun (refers to ownership). They're is a contraction meaning 'they are.' There is an adverb showing direction and can also be used as a pronoun.
Alot or a lot? No such word as 'alot.'
'Somewhat unique' is an impossible phrase. Why? Unique is one-of-a-kind. It can't be somewhat. Either it is or it isn't.
Just between you and I? Or just between you and me? You and me. Turn it around and see that it just sounds correct.
The squirrels who ate my garden or the squirrels that ate my garden...? That is correct. Who is used for humans and animals with a name. Unless you've named your squirrels, of course.

I'm actually quite good at this and I can't decide if I'm proud of that...or horrified.

Big gulp

2010-04-05T14:46:00.003-05:00

It was a perfect day for running errands. You know the type...sunny blue sky, light breeze, warm enough to have the windows down on the car, but not so hot that you stick to your seats. An unusually gorgeous spring day in Chicago.
Having just dropped off my tax return at the post office (I'm finally getting money back!!!! Yay me!), I pulled into the street and waited for the light to turn green so I could make a right-hand turn and head home. Damn those No Turn on Red signs!
In the intersection just ahead of me is a small junky Chevy waiting for the traffic to clear in order to finish a left-hand turn onto my street. Said Chevy is being driven by a woman whose age is showing as much as her scalp shows through the messy pile of brown curls on her head.
Although her turn won't affect mine, I wonder if she's one of those elderly ladies who don't do as George Carlin used to recommend to senior citizens ('Drive your age dammit! You don't have much time left! You've gotta get there FAST!')
I wonder if she's one of those ridiculously sllllloooooooowwww drivers that you have to resist the urge to honk at when they count to 10 before advancing on a newly-green light.
While waiting for the turn, the woman decided to grab a quick drink of water perhaps? from the bottle on the passenger seat.
Except this tiny, frail woman lifted a gigantic half-full TWO LITER bottle of Pepsi!
The Pepsi generation indeed.

Too cute for words

2010-03-12T17:35:00.003-06:00

MESA, ARIZONA - - The boy had to be about 4 or 5 years old, standing along the fence with his 7-year-old sister and their mom. He was hold a baseball that, in his tiny hand, looked like a cantaloupe. They were waiting to collect an autograph from whatever Cubs baseball player came by on his way to the parking lot.
A Cubs minor leaguer, probably at least 3 or 4 years away from playing at Chicago's Wrigley Field, came down the row of fans, signing everything pushed toward him. The little guy reached over the fence and held the ball out, "Sign this! Sign this!"
The young athlete in the blue Cubs pinstripes whose name none of us knew, signed the ball and handed it back over the fence to the boy.
Jumping around bursting with joy, the little boy held the ball up, "He signed my BALL!!!! He signed my BALL!!!"
Mom reminded him of his manners and asked if he said thank you.
"THANK YOOUUUU!!"
I love Spring Training.

0 for 2

2010-03-12T17:22:00.002-06:00

Married for 17 years with a 3-year-old daughter.
Lives in Southern California.
That's the line on the Brown and I can't say I'm surprised. Every time I've considered trying to look him up, I've steeled myself for the inevitable news that he's married.
OF COURSE he's married!!! He was a wonderfully sweet, caring, considerate, smart fella when I knew him a billion years ago. There had to be at least one woman in his path smart enough to snag him.
And he's still a Cubs fan, so I sent him an email as I've just returned from Cubs Spring Training in Arizona. He wanted an update on the team.
So we still have that.

And AT&T won the battle and the war. It turns out, the numerous calls to my voicemail are part of a diabolical scheme that the phone company has set up. When someone calls me and I don't answer, the phone forwards the call to my voicemail system. THIS IS CONSIDERED A PHONE CALL!!
I spoke to an AT&T representative and he explained that since I didn't pick a phone plan (excuse me, but 10 years ago, you just called the phone company upon moving in and asked what your new number was. There was no such thing as 'picking a plan.'), I was paying for each individual call.
What a load of crap!
Anyhoo, the rep suggested a plan where I would have unlimited local calls (duh!) and my costs would go down substantially. They get less $$$ and I get less frustration.
I'm going to call it a tie.

Do I really want to do this?

2010-02-23T17:40:00.004-06:00

It's not like I don't have a lot on my plate already...what with fighting with AT&T, working out 5+ days a week (yay me!), eating almost every meal at home (read: cooking a LOT), preparing to go to Arizona for a week, and, oh yes, trying to start my own business.
Guess somewhere in my psyche, there was a millimeter of space that was itching for some activity. What kind of monkey wrench can I throw in here? I know! I'll look up an old boyfriend! That usually wreaks all kinds of havoc!
(I'm going to refer to him as "The Brown," which is what he nicknamed his gigantic Oldsmobile back in the day.)
Unlike most women who do crazy shit like this, The Brown wasn't an a-hole whom I'm glad to be rid of. Far from it! It was one of those situations where we were right for each other but the timing was wrong. Him: a soon-to-graduate college senior. Me: a freshman.
'nuff said.
We had some tiny, maybe inconsequential, but odd things in common: He was from a large Catholic family (just like me). He was the last boy and had one younger sister. I am the last girl and the next older is a brother (with the same first name as The Brown). We both suffered through winter birthdays as ours were almost exactly one month apart.
I'd guess you could use a Hollywood phrase and call him 'my one great love.'
Can you have a great love at 17? I don't know. Ask Romeo and Juliet.
But I digress...
Do you ever have those low periods in your life when you think back to better times? Times when you'd give anything to be back in those more innocent days? It's during those times that I remember this guy and how sweet he was to me.
No, I never pictured us married with kids or anything like that. I was very young at the time and had had very little dating experience, so this kind, gentle, caring guy was perfect for me. Maybe we would've crashed and burned if we stayed together. Who knows?
Still.
I'll admit that over the years, I've checked the school's alumni newsletter for his name (nope) or, more recently, even thrown a dart at Facebook. His (very common) name came up more than 500 times!
So the other night, while trying to squeeze a discount for a rental car from my university's alumni website, I got the crazy urge to look him up in the online alumni directory. Okay, it's been more than 20 years since we saw each other and I haven't even thought of him in at least a few years.
I located a listing for a guy with the same name, but he lives in California. Hmmn... I do remember The Brown getting a job in California not long after college.
What the hell! So I send an email with some pertinent facts about The Brown, just to see if this is indeed the same guy.
It's HIM!
I don't use Gmail, AOL, Yahoo or any of a hundred other providers for my personal email, I use Earthlink. God only knows how they stay in business because I don't know too many other people that use Earthlink.
Except The Brown.

AT&T battle, Round 2

2010-02-21T16:22:00.002-06:00

AT&T billing time frame: January 11 to February 10. AT&T's total number of local calls: 29.

After last month's billing fiasco, I wasn't taking any chances. Beginning January 25 (the day an AT&T technician arrived at my high-rise building, spoke to me and then left without doing anything), I have started to list the calls made from my phone including the time, date, call recipient and length of call.

My time frame: January 25 to February 10. Total number of local calls: 5.

Hmmn? So, does anyone REALLY think I made 24 calls in 14 days considering my lack of home phone activity?

Yeah, me neither.

So I emailed AT&T to get another detailed call list. A very nice representative named Mamie responded within 24 hours and said she'd be happy to mail out a list of my calls...for a $3 charge.
Um, no, I don't think so. I very nicely explained the January billing issue and Mamie agreed to withdraw the extra charge.

Nice girl, that Mamie.

So, now I wait.

Taking on 'the man'

2010-01-27T12:30:00.002-06:00

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't really back down from a fight. Hell, I've even been known to start them (not a word, Maple!). This one is pretty unusual though. Here's the deal:

I have AT&T as the carrier for my home phone. The home phone that I NEVER USE. Actually, I'm not really sure why I even have it. My mother is the only person who calls and leaves a message. The other callers are usually sales calls (I can tell because I have caller ID), so I don't pick it up and they don't leave messages.

Last week I received my AT&T bill and noticed that it showed that I made 72 local calls between December 10 and January 5. Since AT&T stopped sending out detailed invoices, I had to request one to find out just whom I was supposedly calling in those 72 calls.

Every single call was to the number I call to retrieve whatever messages have been recorded. Every single one! I don't know about you, but I only check for messages when that little light is on to tell me that a message exists. I'm not so obsessive-compulsive that I check every 15 minutes or so.

Yeah, tell that to AT&T! According to this invoice, I checked my messages 16 times on December 10th! Hmmn? The truly funny part is that 14 of those 16 calls where made while I was at work! So unless my houseplants have somehow been trained to dial a phone, those calls were not made from my house.

I also noticed that some of the calls overlap (a 2-minute call at 2:17pm and another one at 2:18 pm) but was told that since AT&T rounds up to the next minute, it is possible that I made back-to-back calls and they would seemingly overlap.

Does this sound fishy to you??? More importantly, does this sound like the beginnings of a class-action lawsuit?

Oh, by the way, a friend of mine in St. Louis just got a notice from AT&T that he could be eligible to benefit from a class-action lawsuit against AT&T for overcharging! Hmmnn?

Ghosts of Christmas past???

2009-12-24T12:51:00.003-06:00

It's really weird when you wake up immediate following a dream and remember it all clearly.

My mom and dad were in the kitchen and my mom was making coffee...or at least trying to. Not so strange, right? Except my dad's been dead for more than 20 years and here was his ghost standing next to my mom. He is the age he was when he died (67) and my mom is her current age (82).

I said that my mom was trying to make coffee because she has a 10-cup Mr. Coffee brewer where you pour water into the top of the machine, press a button and voila! coffee is brewed. Except my mom was getting confused (that happens more and more lately since she's past 80 years old) and she forgot where to pour the water. She was pouring it into the coffee carafe and spilling it on the hotplate.

My dad put his arm around her and kissed her as if to say, "It's okay, we still love you."

I don't usually have dreams about my dad and I don't know if this means anything but it scared me. Not the way I wanted to wake up on Christmas Eve morning.

My two favorite Tiger Woods jokes

2009-12-17T16:26:00.002-06:00

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stopped at three 'ho's'

- - - - - - - -

Did you hear that Tiger Woods is going to court to change his name from Tiger to Cheatah?

:-)))
I'll be here all night. Don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses!!

Home?

2009-11-27T10:31:00.002-06:00

It's odd being home and not being at work. On one hand, it's great being in control of my time for a change. On the other hand, it's hard to decide what task to complete first.
So, of course, I took myself out to breakfast first.
Sitting at the IHOP drinking coffee and looking out the window at a cold and dreary Chicago day (and trying not to think of the hot sun that greets Sydneysiders at this time of year), I noticed a short apartment building a block or two away. What drew this building to my attention was not only the nice wooden trellis on the roof, but the flagpole next to it.
The rain and wind had wrapped the fabric around the pole until one moment when the wind shifted and the banner was released...an Australian flag!

Going back Up Over

2009-11-16T18:30:00.003-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - Finished packing and am waiting for the airport shuttle, once again bringing a close to my Australian holiday. As expected, depression is starting to set in. Mother Nature, however, is trying to push me on my way with a cool, overcast day. Thanks, mom!
Had a second long chat with Tour Guide last night. (VERY AFRAID of cell phone bill!) He wants to work and maybe live longterm in Canada. Doesn't know exactly where or what he will do for a living, but he wants to go there. Did I mention that he doesn't know anyone there, has never been there and knows almost nothing about the country?
I guess we all make uninformed decisions and then cling to them for dear life. Oh well, he'll learn...or maybe not. But it's not my problem.
Yep, he hasn't said anything about coming to visit me in Chicago and that's fine. Maybe we'll go back to being Facebook friends. Nothing more.
Again, that's fine.
Well, gotta get my luggage and meet the shuttle.

Sunday Night at the Observer Hotel

2009-11-16T00:29:00.002-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - And before you get all "oooh, dirty bits coming up," let me educate you a bit. In Australia, a hotel often is a tavern/pub that may or may not rent out rooms. The Observer Hotel was established in 1848 and I think they know what they're doing...or maybe not.
You know you're in for a special evening of entertainment when the singer/guitarist starts playing a song not because it's on his song list, but because the local guy in the corner started singing it. What song? "You Lost That Loving Feeling" by the Righteous Brothers. And yes, EVERYONE in the bar started singing along!
The next singalong was Frankie Valli's "You're Just too Good to be True."
Things got out of hand pretty quickly after that.
This being my second visit to the Observer in the past week, the bartender apparently recognized me asked me if I wanted a Toohey's New (beer). Refreshed with my cool beverage, I grabbed a seat in the corner of the bar where I could watch the proceedings in safety.
Did I mention that the singer put a piece of gum in his mouth between songs? I don't know if anyone else noticed that but I have NEVER seen a solo performer chew gum during songs.
I don't know if it was the gum or what, but our singer seemed to have a bit of trouble hitting the high notes during "Take on Me" by A-Ha. No worries! The crowd filled in for him.
There was a small TV on the wall near where the singer performed and during one of his songs, a few guy right in front looked up to see the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team doing its warm-ups. If you've never seen this event, you really should. Picture about 20 muscular blokes dressed all in black, beating their chests and chanting in a terribly menacing fashion. It's very primal and actually pretty scary and if I were their opponent, I'd be soiling my pants right now.
The singer looked up to watch, too.
Like I said, things were pretty loose at the Observer.
Just when things were getting somewhat mellow (he actually sang a few songs by Bread, if you know the band), he flew into "Faith" by George Michael. The crowd went bananas, jumping around and singing.
Do we have places like this in Chicago and if so, can someone please tell me where?

Aussie from the past

2009-11-12T23:41:00.002-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - Would anyone out there be surprised to hear that I got an email from Tour Guide about a month ago through Facebook? If you don't remember the situation, let me refresh: we stayed in touch after I left Australia via Skype, email, texts and the occasion phone call.
We seemed to get pretty close (if you consider being in daily contact getting close) and then he asked if I would ever consider leaving Chicago? This question was followed pretty quickly by the off-hand comment that he had recently gotten drunk and slept with a female friend of his!!!
Needless to say, we fell out of touch soon after that conversation. I even deleted his Facebook friendship.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He emailed me to let me know that he had taken a job in Tasmania (another state in Australia, one that's an island south of the mainland) and would be moving from Darwin to 'Tassie' in October and I would be welcome to visit him while I'm in Australia.
I was curious as to why he contacted me, so I texted him while I was in Port Douglas a few days ago. We arranged to have a direct phone call and spoke for over 2 hours!
Apparently, our 'falling out of touch' was his way of running away from me because he felt like he might've been getting too close to me and we both knew the situation was impossible. Instead of discussing it and agreeing that nothing could come of our 'relationship,' he re-directed his desire for me to this other woman and in the process, lost both women.
He invited me to come to Tasmania this weekend (pretty much now, as I'm writing this on Friday afternoon). I was pretty sure it wasn't a good idea, but an ocean provides a pretty good buffer from trouble, so I checked on flights just for the hell of it.
The travel gods must have felt it wasn't a good idea either because the flights were CRAZY expensive!!! Tour Guide even offered to pay my way back to Australia if I flew down to Tassie, but the cost was really too much and the flight times didn't make for a good plan anyway.
So where does this leave us?
I'll keep you posted.

Fashionistas Down Under

2009-11-12T23:33:00.002-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - Okay, I'm not one of them. And BOY! did I feel out of place shopping along Crown Street in Surry Hills (suburb of Sydney). You know you're in trouble when you don't have nice enough clothes to wear to GO SHOPPING for nice clothes!
Actually, I headed this way (about a mile southeast of the central business district) to seek out a restaurant called Spice I Am, a lovely little storefront Thai place that Rachel Ray mentioned on one of her travel shows.
I've never seen so much leg on one street! Apparently, the spring fashion in Sydney is to wear (essentially) a bag that just barely covers the ass and then either ankle boots or gladiator sandals with it. Fortunately, most of the girls wearing this style look good in it, but I think they might look a bit better with a dress that shows off their figure a bit more. Okay, sue me, I'm old!
Yes, I did end up helping the Australian economy (that's doing just fine, thank you!) with several purchases from little boutique shops and a few vintage stores. I LOVE vintage jewelry and purses! I even bought a baseball cap that's angora and lambswool. Fabulous!!
And I DID find the restaurant so it's time for an early dinner!

You take your entertainment, I'll take mine.

2009-11-09T01:27:00.003-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS, AU - - Every time I try to read a book on my balcony, one of those rainbow lorikeets screeches past & reminds me that nothing in print could be as captivating as the show Mother Nature has set in front of me. A flash of red, yellow and green. There goes another one, careening from one coconut palm to the next.
Golden palms, foxtail palms, lipstick palms and fan palms...my buddy Wolfgang (former owner of the apartment building where I'm staying) taught me the names of these beauties.
The breeze creates a swooshing melody that's so soothing but at the same time competes for my attention with the insistent roar of the not-too-distance waves at 4 mile beach.
Who needs a book?

File under 'So You Think You're All That'

2009-11-09T01:18:00.002-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS, AU - - In an effort to get some sun on my shoulders and even out the 'farmer's tan' I got in Sydney, I put on a tube top and went to sit on my 2nd floor balcony (although they call it first floor here). Anyway, I stood up to get a better view of my beautiful surroundings and leaned over to cross my arms on the railing.

Two young guys were walking past on the sidewalk across the street and they both looked over at me and smiled. Do I smile back? Wave? Before I could decide, they were gone.

And then another guy was getting into a taxi in front of my building and he looked up at me...a few times.

Hmm??? What's this about?

Then it hit me. From their position, at ground level, they probably couldn't tell whether or not I was wearing a top!!

Find the sun through the rain

2009-11-07T22:08:00.003-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS, AU - - My tan development program will be postponed for one day, at least, as it is once again raining in PD. I've been here 5 days and it's rained for 2 of those day. (Of course, I've spent every MOMENT of the other three days on 4-mile beach, so I'm getting a bit brown).
The rain is funny here, though, as it seems more like a cleansing than anything else. It's a rainforest rain, very drenching but not in a freezing, angry, run-for-cover-type of way like at home. I don't mind at all getting caught in this rain.
This trip has been unusual for me, but I can't put my finger on how I feel about the differences in this year's excursion Down Under. I've always loved Port Douglas, but this year is definitely an out-of-sorts visit.
My friends sold the apartment complex where I'm staying, so I don't know anyone here except one of the housekeepers. My friends moved a few hours' drive away, so I don't really expect to see them at all. And there are a TON of families with small children in town this time (small, crying, fussing, interrupt-your-quiet-dinner little ankle-biters).
Did I mention it's rained a lot here this time???
There's even a chance I won't be able to go snorkeling on my birthday because of the high winds. Guess I never really appreciated the opportunities I've had in the past to spend my birthday on the Great Barrier Reef. I'm crossing my fingers that last year won't have been my last chance.
Okay MJ, enough bitching. I am determined to snap out of it and count my blessings that I can afford (???) to treat myself to what for many people would be a once-in-a-lifetime trip. (I've been here EIGHT TIMES!!! somebody slap me!)
Rain or no rain, screaming children or not...I WILL find the joy in this, possibly my last, trip to Australia.

Do you live here? Only if I can find my way home...

2009-11-02T23:18:00.003-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - I must look, or at least act, like an Aussie because I've been in Sydney for about 24 hours and I've been asked directions twice! Hmmn...

One discernable difference between me and a true Sydneysider is that they know their way around town. I was dropped off at my hotel yesterday morning, dropped off my bags and went walking around to re-acquaint myself with the city.

Several hours later, I decided to see if my room was ready yet (too early to check in at 9am). I walked south down Pitt Street from the Rocks neighborhood to a store that read '303 Pitt' across the front. Okay, my hotel's address is 300 Pitt, so I looked across the street for the entrance to the Metro Hotel.

It wasn't there.

It wasn't next door to 303 either. Or one or two store fronts down.

IT WAS ON THE NEXT BLOCK!!! (One point for Chicago's grid system of streets).

Tomorrow it's on to Port Douglas!

The bridge

2009-11-02T16:58:00.001-06:00

Hey there Australia, it's me again.

2009-11-01T22:27:00.004-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - I've decided that time moves at a different pace here. I've been in Sydney for less that 12 hours, but I feel like I've been away from home for a week (and I mean that in a good way). In the first hour, I got sunburn (yay! that's how I start a tan). Of course, it's only 3:30 in the afternoon, but I REALLY want to go to bed.

Getting off the plane here, I wondered what had changed in this, one of my favorite cities. Well, as different as it is from Chicago, Sydney always has seemed comfortably familiar to me (even the first time I was here). But like any other major metropolitan area, it's a living, breathing entity and change is inevitable.

Having dropped off my bags at my hotel, I trekked down to Milson's Point (???) and said my usual hello to the Sydney Harbor Bridge. The Opera House will have to wait since a humungous cruise ship had docked in my line of sight. I'll bid my welcome to the Opera House tomorrow.

My stomach growled and I decided to go to my usual haunt in the Rocks neighborhood. The Gumnut Cafe is this cute little eatery that features a tiny back courtyard where you can often spot brightly colored parakeets in search of spilled sugar. The 2-seat tables are actually ancient Singer sewing machines, complete with foot pedal! It's a lovely bit of calm in the midst of the hectic Sydney business district.

Not any more.

I walked up and found a rental store for bicycle tours of Sydney! I stood outside the door with my mouth agape and then my stomach rumbled again, so I moved on. My second choice of brekky locale was fine, but I felt cheated. Turns out, my little cafe only closed a few weeks ago!!!

I'm quite sure no one's moved the Opera House, so I can return to my sense of stability when I visit it tomorrow.

On Wednesday, I travel to Port Douglas. It's another return visit, but another change, too. My friends, Wolfgang and Christel, sold the Archipelago (the served apartment building where I've stayed for several years) but the new owners sound nice in emails and a surprise long-distance phone call.

Change is inevitable and often, very healthy. I'm preparing for some changes myself, so this trip will be good practice on learning how to roll with it. Wish me luck!

Mistakes revisited??

2009-10-05T20:32:00.002-05:00

In the middle of the second circuit of my every-other-day workout, my cell phone rings. I stopped doing oblique twists and grab the phone off the charger in my kitchen. Hoping it's the person I've been trying to meet (work stuff, get your mind outta the gutter...for now), I breathe "hello."

The guy on the phone has a strong accent and the man with whom I've been trying to meet definitely does not. My mind is reeling.

He said his name, but I didn't hear it since I have competing audio output from my workout CD and also the TV. So I did what any smart and curious woman would do...I fake it.

"Oh, hi! How are you?" I'm waiting to get some kind of clue as to who this is and whether or not I want to continue this conversation.

Eventually it comes to me. It's a guy who works for the Cubs. The same guy (I'm embarrassed to say) that I got drunk and made out with in Denver. Apparently, I gave him my number.

The season ended yesterday and he's heading back home (Miami??) in a few days and wanted to know what I was doing tonight.

My memories of Denver came rushing back and I decided that I wasn't up for the booty call. I told him I have a cold (which I do, kind of) and planned to finish my workout, take a shower and go to bed...alone. He laughed at the 'alone' part and asked if I was sure.

I gotta give him credit for not waiting till midnight to call. It was only 7 o'clock.

Inspiration or perspiration?

2009-09-07T18:13:00.002-05:00

With a much-needed day off after returning from my niece's wedding in the Washington, DC area, I treated myself to a movie.
"Julie and Julia," if you don't know, is two stories actually. One tale is about Julia Child, the lovely and funny chef that taught America how to cook French food. The other story is about a woman named Julie who decided to cook all 500+ recipes in the aforementioned chef's book and write a blog about the process.
Leaving the theatre, it dawned on me that it was almost dinner time and I wanted to cook something....with butter!!! And probably wine.
But first, my workout.

Denver 2009, okay, actually just Coors Field

2009-08-15T21:56:00.003-05:00

Um...what??? Rockpile?? Since when is that a legitimate seating area??? In case you're wondering, it's the cheapseats that are directly above dead-center field. Apparently, they're sold day-of-game and can cost as little as $5!

While walking to Coors Field, I spotted a statue in front of the ballpark. Quick! Name a single Rockies player (current or former) that would merit a statue. Can't think of anyone? Me neither. Guess this is a statue of the 'everyman' player. Kinda lame, methinks.

Okay, this is kinda neat. On the centerfield concourse, the average joe could be (at least for half an inning), Joe Buck...or Pat Hughes...or the next Harry Caray! For a small fee, you can announce the Rockies game as it's being played. Not sure where the broadcast is heard or if it's recorded.

Less than a block from Coors Field are several bars and restaurants...in short, a pretty fun area to hang out. I'm guessing the owner is a transplanted Chicagoan. For the most part, I felt pretty welcomed by the Rockies fans (of course, that could be because my boys looked awful for much of the weekend and the Rockies, by comparison, looked fabulous!)

Aramis Ramirez congratulates Derrek Lee after he scored in Saturday's game. Too bad these two couldn't put together more offense as the Cubs dropped three of four games in Colorado.

Nice park, huh? Shitty beer, though. And the food service is practically self-serve as I counted five vendors between home plate and right field during one point during the game on Saturday. That's five IN TOTAL, not five just in my aisle. Oh, did I mention you can get SALAD at a stand on the concourse?

This is not Barney, the purple dinosaur. It's Dinger, the Rockies' mascot. What the hell a dinosaur has to do with Colorado I had to know. The woman sitting next to me on Sunday filled me in. "When they were digging the hole for the ballpark, they found dinosaur bones. They had to shut the whole thing down for a while because it became an excavation site." So now you know the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would've said.

Although Ryan Dempster's pitching has been very good at times and mediocre at others, his batting has been consistently....um, how to put this kindly? Less-than-spectacular. I think Rockies pitcher (and former Cub) Jason Marquis knew this.

This is the view of the outfield from the centerfield concourse. Yep, I know, I could sit and watch the fountains in this best-EVER batter's eye too!

Good cabbie/bad cabbie

2009-08-06T15:57:00.004-05:00

In the interests of balancing the cabbie karma in the universe, please see the following story of a good man who happens to drive a taxicab.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-cab-pick-pocketaug06,0,1060293.story

I'd like to think there are more of this guy than the other, but I'm not sure.

Power to the People

2009-08-04T12:41:00.004-05:00

When the taxi driver immediately backed down and offered to let me pay whatever I wanted, I knew that I was being cheated. And I wasn't going away quietly.

Here's how it went down.

Having just flown home from Arizona on a late flight, I was trying to stay awake on a chilly March evening. A guy stood about 25 feet down the road from me, also waiting for a taxi. Being a good traveler, I offered to let him share the ride (he was there first, after all).

So two strangers piled into the taxi van and headed east. After only a few blocks, my fellow traveler got out. I noticed the meter read $4.95 + 1.00 (for the extra passenger). The stranger handed the driver $5 and said his goodbyes.

Without re-setting the meter, the driver continued on and reached my destination a few miles down the road. Imagine my surprise when the driver asked me for the full fare.

"What about the $5 he gave you?" I asked.

The driver started to explain that since the other traveler and I didn't know each other, it wasn't a true shared ride.

"Excuse me?!!"

That's when he immediately offered to let me pay whatever I wanted. Something in me snapped and I knew I wasn't going to put up with another dishonest taxi driver. If Chicago gets the Olympics, I didn't want a-holes like this giving my city a bad reputation.

So I filed a complaint with the city.

After testifying over the phone (a truly stressful thing, lemme tell ya!), we WON! The taxi driver was fined $140 for attempting to overcharge me.

Justice!

We Believe

2009-06-15T20:59:00.003-05:00

Since the 2009 version of the Chicago Cubs aren't exactly running away with the division, I decided it might be nice to re-live some of the excitement of the 2008 season. I bought a ticket to the premier of "We Believe," a documentary about the Cubs and the city's connection to the team and its fans.

First of all, Chicago looks great in this movie! Of course, the city always looks pretty in the summer (in my humble opinion), but there's something about seeing Wrigley Field at daybreak from a helicopter view that's really quite cool.

Several Cubs players were interviewed for the movie and it's always nice to see who has personality and who doesn't. Fortunately, the Chicago Cubs are never short of 'characters.' I'll have to buy the DVD when it comes out because I missed several minutes of the movie as the crowd went bezerk (sp?) when now-former-but-still-ridiculously-popular Cub Mark DeRosa was on screen.

Opening Day 2008 got a lot of screen time and it deserved it. The Cubs trailed 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth inning when brand-spanking-new Cub Kosuke Fukodome hit a three-run homer to send the game into extra innings. I attended the game and I thought Wrigley Field would explode from the noise!

In what has become all-too-common occurence, the Cubs lost in extra innings. The film showed the dejected fans filing out of the park, hanging their heads. One scene showed a sad Cubs fan sitting all alone after the game's end with a sign that read 'Expect Great in '08.'

"Oh my God! That's me!" I said to no one in particular at the Chicago Theatre.

And it was!

I'm not a fan who brings signs and banners to show allegiance, but on that day I did. I don't know why. But now I'm in a movie.

Who knew?

Let's get this summer in gear already!

2009-06-07T20:28:00.005-05:00

It's been a pretty slow summer so far. Slow in what way, you may ask??? Well...several ways.
The Cubs have been only so-so performers after having been picked in the pre-season to pretty much run away with the division. I've seen recent signs of life with their on-again, off-again offense so I can stay cautiously optimistic, as always.
I've decided that Mother Nature really has something against Chicago. Yes, I know our winters are beyond-belief shitty with record cold air temps and peel-your-skin-off wind, but come on!!! It's almost mid-June and we should be in mini skirts and shoulder-baring tank tops.
But NOOOOOO!!!!
I can count the jacket-free days on one hand! Convertibles like mine were built for speeding down Lake Shore Drive with the top down enjoying the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. But I can't even THINK about throwing the ragtop down with all the rain and chilly breezes we've suffered through.
On the 'social' scene, things have been...well, up and down (and not in THAT way, you dirty-minded but lovely friends!)
Redbird Fan never called. Or at least, he never stayed on the phone long enough for us to have a conversation. What's with that? Guys always say they need to know they have the 'green light.' Well, hell! I'll hold the door open for you, but I won't push you through it!
Then there was C Neighbor who kept telling me he had a crush on me. I wouldn't hear anything from him for weeks and then a random text asking me to come by and cuddle with him. Cuddle??? We have never been on a date! We don't even know each other's last names?!?!
A baseball-themed theatre production convinced me to go out solo a few weekends back. The show was interesting and so was the 6-foot-4 guy sitting next to me. Actually, we had already talked a bit while I was buying my ticket and he was picking up his free ducat (courtesy of a pal who was performing in the show).
We chatted during intermission and after a confusing ending of the play, we both decided to go for a drink and try to figure out what we just saw. It was a nice conversation, so I traded business cards with Sniper (his name for going out solo, as he often does, too). We made tentative plans to see the Cubs game that Thursday.
I didn't hear my cell phone ring late Wednesday afternoon, but I called back to the work number that Sniper left. He left the message that he couldn't get a sitter for his son, so he couldn't go to the game with me. It was almost 6pm when I called back, so I wasn't surprised to get his voicemail, but was surprised to not hear from him again.
At all.
My volleyball friends all think that perhaps Sniper wasn't as available as he made himself out to be.
Who are these social misfits and why do I keep meeting them?
The good news this season is I've been keeping up with my 30 Day Shred workouts (probably 3 times per week), so when I finally do get a chance to show off my bod, it will be ROCKING!!!
Oh, and I just place a Victoria's Secret order, so I am staying cautiously optimistic there, too!

TMI....to the nth degree!

2009-05-23T17:27:00.002-05:00

I confess...I belong to another website besides Blogspot. And I've got heaps of friends who belong to it, too. This can be a great way to keep in touch. Or it can be a nightmare.

Periodically, I'll check out my friends' 'pages' to see what's going on in their lives. Not often, but I do this sometimes when I'm bored at work.

So the other day, I went on a friends' page and see that he had taken one of the thousands of quizzes that are offered by this website. Not sure what purpose these quizzes serve, except as excellent time-killers. The website designers come up with several questions and when you answer them, you are labeled with one of their titles. Something like 'Marilyn Monroe' (if you take the quiz 'who were you in a former life?' for example).

Anyway, my 'friend' has emerged from his "what kind of lover are you?' quiz as (apparently) an amazing lover, 'one who always leaves the partner hungry for a second go-round.'

Normally, I'd give the test-taker a hard time about their quiz results. There is NO WAY I'm going to bring this up the next time I see this 'friend'. I don't even know if I'll be able to look him in the eye. Now....or ever!

Why???

Because he's my nephew!

Verrrryy interesting!

2009-05-11T19:05:00.002-05:00

So I mailed my business card to Redbird Fan, not knowing if he'd even get it before the tradeshow here in Chicago (which starts today, by the way). He travels quite a bit, I think.

At 4:57 pm, my cell phone rings and I check the display: a 314 area code.

St. Louis!

'Hello?' I tried to sound friendly but not overly so.

A man's voice replies, "Oh, sorry, I must have the wrong number."

And hangs up!

So who's the bigger chickenshit, me or him? I hung up when his receptionist tried to put my call through and he (or his friend/coworker) hung up when I answered.

There is NO WAY IN HELL that the call wasn't from him.

The tradeshow ends on Thursday. We'll see...

When all else fails, try the US Postal Service

2009-05-02T23:03:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I stopped by the Merchandise Mart on my lunch hour the other day (where Redbird Fan's company has an office). I found the company, but the lights were turned off, no one home. Turns out, it's one of the many companies in the Mart that are only open during trade shows, not to the public.

The glass-enclosed space listed a St. Louis phone number, so I thought I could make a quick call and find out exactly when the Chicago location would be inhabited. The woman who answered told me that the company would be participating in a May 11-14 trade show (as Redbird Fan said). I mentioned that I had met one of her coworkers over the weekend and before I could finish, she had started to transfer me to him!!!!

I panicked and hung up.

Gimme a break! Just stop for a second and think of how that conversation would go, "hello, we met over the weekend. You don't know my name and didn't tell me what company you worked for or your phone number but I tracked you down..." Sounds pretty stalker-like, doesn't it? I didn't want to put this guy on the spot, so I chickened out.

On further review, I decided that maybe I could call back and be transferred directly to his voicemail. That way, he could decide whether or not to call me back and no one is pressured to make a split-second decision.

I'm not sure how this is possible for a company to have a St. Louis headquarters but be successful enough to also have not only a location in Chicago but one in the Merchandise Mart AND NOT HAVE VOICEMAIL!!

As a last-ditch effort, I placed my business card with "thanks for the beer. maybe I can return the favor when you're in town" on the back and mailed it to his company.

We'll see.

Best bumper sticker seen enroute to St. Louis

2009-04-27T21:40:00.000-05:00

"I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying."

Fraternizing with the enemy

2009-04-27T20:48:00.002-05:00

ST.LOUIS - -Having watched my Cubs lose two games to the rat-bastard Cardinals in Busch Stadium, I entered the park rather quietly on Sunday. The concourse was overflowing with red shirts, my Cubs blue a serious minority hue.
You ever find yourself having a random thought - - not apropo of anything? Well, while strolling to my upper deck seat, my mind drifted back to the guy who is responsible for my Cub fandom. The One That Got Away was a guy I dated in college. We attended a university approximately 2 hours from St. Louis and I actually accompanied him to this city when he had a job interview (for a job he didn't get). I've had no contact with The One in about 20 years, but at that moment I wondered if maybe he lived in St. Louis and horror of horrors!! maybe switched sides and became a Cardinals fan! I shook my head to dispel that crazy idea.
As far as I could see, I was the only Cubs fan in my section. Although I never really trash talk about the opponent, I could see that this was not the time to start.
Redbird Fan and his pal arrived late in the first inning, attired in the red shirts that must be a required uniform in Missouri. Redbird Fan sat to my immediate right in the close quarters of the upper deck.
There was something familiar about him, something that reminded me of The One. Same height, similiar build, same hair color, same age and...no ring (yes, I checked). He was definitely a Cardinals fan, but at one point admitted that he knew people that live near Wrigley and he's been to Chicago several times. In fact, his company has an office in the Merchandise Mart and he was coming to Chicago next week???
I don't remember how we got on the topic of cars, but he told me that he drives a 1967 Lincoln. The hair on the back of my neck bristled. The One drove an old Oldsmobile (another huge boat of a car).
About mid-game, I mentioned that I was driving home after the game and was trying to figure out how to get to the Martin Luther King bridge (one of several bridges that cross the Mississippi River into Illinois). I pulled out my G1 phone with lovely GPS and map features. He pulled out his glasses and we huddled together over the small screen to check out my travel options.
Redbird Fan and his friend left to get beer just as the Cubs started to take a lead. They didn't offer me a beer and I was okay with that since I had a 5-hour drive coming up. I cheered on my boys and tried to ignore the ensuing dirty looks from my section. The remainder of my beer tasted particularly sweet as I watched Chicago put up even more runs.
The Cardinals seemed to have the wind taken out of their sails and the fans near me became pretty quiet. Redbird Fan picked up my empty beer cup, turned to me and said "I haven't taken any yet," and poured about half of his fresh beer into my cup.
I thanked him and toasted to a good rivalry, secretly impressed with this show of gentlemanly generosity. The simple gesture somehow seemed very intimate. It was as if we had an assumed familiarity. Very much like some things The One did when we were together.
The Cubs were leading 10-3 as the ninth inning started, so the Cardinals fans lost the faith and started pouring out of the stadium, including Redbird Fan and his pal.
We were never introduced (although I did catch his first name) . He never asked for my name or my number, but I'm pretty sure his pal (who was married and expecting his first child), harrassed Redbird Fan all the way home for this oversight.
So many guys don't know how to 'close the deal' and Redbird Fan had this characteristic written all over him. Here's the question:
Do I stop at the Merchandise Mart and drop off my business card at his company's office with a note 'thanks for the beer. Go Cubs!' ????

Spring! Smell the scent of pheremones in the air!

2009-04-19T15:10:00.002-05:00

As it was FINALLY warm enough to attend a baseball game without shivering, I decided to watch my Cubs smash the visiting rat-bastard St. Louis Cardinals. Riding the elevator in my building, I ran into a young guy I'll call "C Neighbor." Apparently, he was meeting friends in the Wrigleyville neighborhood to watch an NBA playoffs basketball game. No baseball for him.

C Neighbor asked if I want to share a cab and when I tell him that I'm walking (such a beautiful day and all), he asks if he can walk with me. Sure!

Mind you, I've run into C Neighbor a few times either in the laundry room, lobby, elevator or sometimes at my favorite coffee shop down the street. We're not friends really, but not strangers either. Did I mention that we've never actually been introduced?

Anyway, we're walking to Wrigley Field (and people, he walks FASTER than I do!!!) and he lights a cigarette (strike 1), and starts telling me how he doesn't remember much of what happened last night after he drank so much (strike 2). He does remember spending about $200 for a bottle of Effen vodka (retail $40??) and he thinks he might have gotten thrown out of whatever bar they were in (strike 3).

Obviously, this is not a person I plan to spend a lot of time with. Nevertheless, our conversation continues and he's decided that I'm in my mid-30s (could I have underestimated him?) and he'd like to buy me a beer before I go into the game. Oh, and he introduced himself so we could actually call each other by name (geez, what a concept!)

He says he'd like to meet me for breakfast if I was planning to head to the corner cafe near our building. Asks if I go to church on Sundays. (geez! a guy who asks about church?) Said he'd like to go to church but hasn't found one for him (he's not Catholic, but he offered to accompany me some Sunday).

I met his friends at the bar. C Neighbor bought me a beer and tried to confirm the Sunday breakfast plans. I told him he could text me on Sunday and see what my plans were. (Fine! So I gave him my cell phone number, so what?!)

C Neighbor and pals take off to watch the NBA playoffs and I go into Wrigley and say Hello to my 'summer family.' Before the game starts, I get a text from C Neighbor asking if I'd like to meet for a drink later (if my evening plans end early). Told him I'd keep him posted.

Having just bought a pre-game beer from one of my favorite vendors, I turned around just in time to see Cub Man, a guy I dated about 7 years ago. He and a pal are sitting 2 rows in front of me! He stopped to give me a hug and later sent a beer vendor over with a second refreshment for me. Mid-game, we made tentative plans to stop for ONE BEER after the game (since both Cub Man's pal and I had separate evening plans). He asked if I still lived (over there, as he pointed in the direction of my high-rise building).

When the game went into extra innings, Cub Man and pal took off. (Of course I was staying till the end!) Cub Man gave me another hug and said I looked great. I said it was nice to see him (it was, actually, since I didn't run into him at any games last year and that's unusual).

After my Cubs pulled off the 11th-inning victory, I ran home to get cleaned up for a black-tie optional charity event for which I had bought a last-minute ticket.

Black formal gown, spiderweb-designed hose and a messy pile of blond curls atop my head, I thought it was a pretty good effort for short notice as I jumped into a cab only 45 minutes late for the start of this casino night/silent auction.

Fifties Frank started off nice enough, complimenting me on my dress??. Wait, no, he said I had a great body (or something to that effect). We discussed the auction for a little while and in just a few minutes, I knew ENTIRELY too much about his family, their struggles with weight (he wasn't fat, but not thin either) and where he fit in the birth order of his large family (youngest of nine, strange coincidence, huh?), and his recent occupational roller-coaster.

What started out as innocent conversation became a sticky trap and since I had no wingman, there was no one to pull me out. When the inevitable request for a phone number came, I had to sink to an excuse of bad timing (implying that I wasn't available to date). He was nice about it, but nevertheless, I took the opportunity to end the evening.

On the taxi ride home, I assessed the day's activities...beer (and potential breakfast) with C Neighbor, another beer (and cancelled third one) with Cub Man and charity auction smalltalk with Fifties Frank (so named for the horned-rimmed glasses and military-short hair).

Not a bad warm up for Summer 2009, right?

New baseball on the horizon

2009-04-14T19:10:00.004-05:00

The envelope arrived and I was sooo excited to open it. On a whim, I ordered tickets for an August baseball series between my Chicago Cubs and the Colorado Rockies...not down the street at Wrigley Field, but in Denver! I got airfare at a decent price and found a GREAT price at a very nice hotel in "LoDo" (which is what they call downtown Denver).
Never been to Denver, much less to Coors Field, but I hear they're both pretty nice. The upcoming trip made me think of all the ballparks I've been to...

New York Yankees - (old) Yankee Stadium (not nearly as big as its reputation and its history)
New York Mets - (old) Shea Stadium
Boston Red Sox - Fenway Park (a dump that makes Wrigley look like new construction even though Fenway as built in 1912 and Wrigley Field in 1914).
Baltimore Orioles - Camden Yards (great ballpark that could've been the home of the Chicago White Sox if the cheap-bastard owner would've paid the architects what they deserved!)
Atlanta Braves - (old) Fulton County Stadium (okay, it was for the Olympic baseball games in 1996, does that count?)
Pittsburgh Pirates - PNC Park (supposedly one of the nicest of the new ballparks, but a Pittsburgh native told me it's the same as Cincinnati's park, just different colored bricks)
Cincinnati Reds - Great American Ballpark (nice old-fashioned new ballpark right on the riverfront)
Toronto Blue Jays - The Rogers Centre, formerly the Sky Dome (Strange place that was sooo state-of-the-art way back in 1989!)
Washington Nationals - (old) RFK Stadium (shitty football stadium that played a poor host to a newly reborn baseball team)
Washington Nationals - (new) Nationals Park (where Cubs centerfielder Reed "Gumby" Johnson made an AMAZING diving catch last year!)
Florida Marlins - Pro Player Stadium (another shitty football stadium that begrudgingly hosted baseball...and didn't look happy about it)
St.Louis Cardinals - (old) Busch Stadium
St. Louis Cardinals (new) Busch Stadium (actually not a bad place to watch baseball; has a cool cut-out centerfield where the Arch is front and center; upper deck railing is only about 2 1/2 feet high...someone's gonna take a dive off that, you just watch!)
Chicago Cubs - Wrigley Field (best place to watch baseball...EVER!)
Chicago White Sox - (old) Comiskey Park (had a working shower in the centerfield bleachers!)
Chicago White Sox (new) U.S. Cellular Field (nicknamed The Cell, probably because so many people end up in jail during the ballgames there...kicked out for fighting.)
Milwaukee Brewers - (old) County Stadium (practically CREATED the sporting tradition of the pre-game tailgate party)
Milwaukee Brewers - (new) Miller Park (nice park, but you can stand on the concourse and not even hear the action on the field...weird!)

And NONE of those places were as cold as Wrigley Field was yesterday as I sat with a friend and watched my boys shutout the Rockies, 4-0, to open the 2009 home season in Chicago. Yay Cubs!!! Gametime temperature was 39 degrees F with a cold mist blowing in on an easterly wind that notched 25 miles per hour.
Brutal!

Mini brow

2009-04-05T17:24:00.003-05:00

Use your imagination a little bit, but you can't tell me that this remnant of my recent surgery (scar left over from 'belly cam') doesn't look like...

...this!

add a little mascara and eyeliner and you're there!

14 days till Cubs Home Opener

2009-03-29T17:08:00.003-05:00

Poor Harry Caray! It's just two weeks till he's front and center of the Cubs Home Opener 2009, but today he's freezing in the cold of a spring snowstorm.

Before I can start thinking of baseball in earnest, I guess I could do like these guys are doing and make the best of the March snow. But can I get anyone to pull me UP the hill?

Okay, these guys are just nuts, but I think that's a prerequisite for smelt fishing. If the lake isn't frozen over, these guys (and many more like them) are out there day and night! Crazy!

"If you'd rather give up than fight, then nothing will really be worth it."

2009-03-25T14:31:00.004-05:00

Five bucks if anyone can name the movie that line is from.

GalPal and I were BFF throughout high school and college, even standing up in each other's weddings. Not too long after her second wedding (don't ask) and my first, I was chatting with her mother about random stuff. I had stopped by BFF's parent's house to return the crinoline slip that I had borrowed to wear under my own wedding gown (something borrowed, something blue). Having such a long friendship, BFF and I knew each other's families pretty well.

A few weeks go by and I'm opening mail that arrived while I was out of the country on vacation with my husband. It's a letter from BFF. Strange to get a letter from her since she lived only a mile or two away.

In short, BFF decided that we were no longer friends. Apparently, she heard second- or third- hand that I had said something about her second husband not being good enough for her. My mouth dropped open. I know I never said that because I don't remember even thinking that. In fact, her second husband was a distant relative of mine and I'd never even met him until he starting dating BFF. I didn't know enough about him in his pre-BFF days to have much of an opinion at all.

I tried to figure out how this all started and I can't imagine who would've told her such a thing. But we'd been friends for over 10 years at this point so I was sure we could talk about it, clear it up and we'd probably laugh about it in years to come.

No phone call.

Ever.

So just like that, I've lost a friend. I've lost my best friend - someone I could tell anything to. Someone who would laugh so long and so hard with me that we ran out of breath at the exact same time and then started laughing all over again. The first person you call when something fantastic...or horrible...or funny happens. That person.

Executed without so much as a trial.

Years have passed and she's crept into my mind occasionally, wondering how many kids they have (since she's wanted to have a baby ever since we met in high school). I've even come across her name on the internet.

But I've made no effort to contact her. If she had put one-tenth of the value on our friendship that I did, she wouldn't have abandoned our friendship without a fight.

Oh, the line is from "The Wedding Date." Good movie, if only for the music.

The Hello Goodbye Window

2009-03-24T19:50:00.004-05:00

I need to preface this by saying that I'm not in love, haven't been in a long time. I haven't been crushed by some random fella either.This is just the observation that resulted from some recent conversation with someone I thought I could trust.

It was the name of a children's book, one of the many I re-shelved tonight on my volunteer night of service. It made me think of all the things we thought we knew when we were young...and stupid.

With age comes wisdom, right?

When you are hungry, you eat. When you are tired, you sleep. When you have to go pee, you go pee. Basic bodily functions that we all understand.

Is sex just a basic bodily function? Just a way to relieve stress, anger, frustration or whatever ails a person at that moment? Nothing more?

Throughout my life, I've met guys who seem to categorize sex as a basic bodily function. No emotional attachment, no intimacy (or as little as you can get away with until she's naked), much less committment. Just something to do for fun and function. Just remember to wear a rubber!

Granted, there are women who feel this way about sex, too. Call me naive, but I think most of them make a ton of money off their attitude. This reminds me of a saying I once heard, maybe you're familiar with it: 'Men give love to get sex. Women give sex to get love.'

I met so many men with the sex-for-fun attitude that they all started to blend into one another, like zebras in a pack. You'd think by now I'd be able to spot one a mile away.

Nope.

Spring? Yeah, right!

2009-03-24T15:23:00.003-05:00

So I stopped into my local Subway to grab a quick lunch. I've been to this location several times recently because 1) it's close to my office and 2) I had coupons (yes, I'm all about saving $$ where I can.)

When I ordered red onions on my sandwich, the Subway worker said, 'not kissing anybody today?'

'Not today, not yesterday and no plans for tomorrow,' I answered without missing a beat.

How sad is that?

Signs of spring in Chicago

2009-03-14T17:02:00.002-05:00

You know spring has come to Chicago (finally!!!) when...

The neighborhood Lions Club (or Elks Club or Masons) have all-you-can-eat pancake breakfasts in the local schools.
Girl Scouts (and their mothers) set up card tables outside the usual Saturday errand locales, i.e. the bank, the dry cleaner, the grocery store, etc. Two boxes of Thin Mints are chilling nicely in my freezer. Yum!!
Baseball can be heard (on the radio, at least)! And pools are aplenty for March Madness college basketball.
Random strangers will compliment me. The other day while at lunch at Subway, a complete stranger stopped on his way out the door and said, "I just couldn't leave without telling you that you are beautiful."
Women under 30 years old will see the thermometer creep above 40 degrees F and immediately whip out the flip flops, tank tops and short skirts.

How many days till Opening Day???

2009-03-09T21:17:00.006-05:00

Micah Hoffpauir takes a huge cut in front of a hot & sweaty crowd in Mesa during Chicago Cubs Spring Training 2009. It was 88 degrees F and a lovely blue sky.

In uniform, the players all tend to look alike (sort of), but this is Sam Fuld signing autographs after a game. Sam had a short call-up to the major leagues two years ago but true Cub fans will remember him for a great play in right field where he crashed into the ivy-covered wall, made the catch and then doubled the runner off first! Fabulous!

The team bursts out of the dugout and the game begins! Can summer be far behind? (Sorry for the thru-the-fence view).

First baseman Derrek Lee is 6-feet-5 inches tall. Aaron Miles, our newest infielder, is.....not.

Manager Lou Piniella (from left), first base coach Matt Sinatro, and bench coach Alan Trammel chill out during the early innings during a Spring Training game. General Manager Jim Hendry (first row behind the wall) is, as usual, on his cell phone, no doubt working on another trade.

Sam Fuld (again) in mid-bubble with one of our many new Cubs faces. So new that I'm not sure who it is?!!?

Outfielder Reed Johnson has been given the nickname "Gumby" because of his tremendous flexibility and athletic prowess. No one wants to stretch out with him. Who gave him that name? Okay, it was me.

Spring Training's a great time to get autographs, even if it's name from a household name. Someone once told me that you take a player's uniform number, subtract it from 100 and that's the percent chance he has of making the team...Well, it was nice of them to sign anyway.

The bright sun and the high blue Arizona sky make for perfect weather to warm up before the crowds arrive.

Early in Spring Training, it's not uncommon to see a lineup where you hardly recognize any players' names. Not today for the Cubs as Alfonso Soriano leads off a team with many familiar faces.

More blood and guts

2009-02-14T21:27:00.002-06:00

These photos could be considered just gross or totally interesting, depending on your point of view. Thought I'd be sick looking at my own guts, but found it terribly fascinating once I knew what was going on.

The massive blob on the right is the larger of the two fibroids that was removed in a six-hour surgery. According to the surgeon, who described it as a cantalope, the thing weighed almost one full pound (556 grams). You can see blood vessels all over it including the bulging artery? vein? at the bottom that's wrapped around it. If my doc had damaged that thing, say bye-bye to ever saying 'baby.' Scary shit, huh?

The Grand Canyon of stomach cavities where the evil fibroid blob once resided. Too big to stitch closed apparently, so they did the next best thing (see below).

This is the mesh stuff that the surgeon inserted to grow as a cover for the hole. How they were able to do all this garbage-out, repair materials in I'll never know. But they did and it's 10 days later and except for a ridiculously low energy level (for me, at least), I feel pretty good. My surgeon is a magician!

Favor granted

2009-02-10T14:51:00.002-06:00

I've been so busy stressing about this fibroid surgery that I hadn't given any thought to a far more important drama that was taking place in Florida recently.
My mother, from whom I have been trying to hide my medical issues, has been in Florida since before Christmas, watching her only sister suffer from cancer.
Obviously, it's much easier to hide a situation from someone who has no geographical proximity to the situation. Hence, my mom hasn't a clue that I had surgery last week.
In a tiny little corner of my self-absorbed brain, I hoped that my aunt would hold on long enough that my mother wouldn't be flying home while I was still in the hospital. Can one person BE so self-centered? Apparently the answer is yes.
Surgery was Wednesday, I was home on Thursday and my aunt passed away on Friday morning. My mother is staying in Florida for a few more days and then flying home on Thursday. By then, I expect to be adequately recuperated to continue our tradition of Saturday morning breakfasts.
Thank you, Aunt D. We'll miss you.

If you're going to have a first surgery, might as well go BIG!

2009-02-06T15:56:00.004-06:00

Pre-Op belly..

NOTE: IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH ABOUT BLOOD-AND-GUTS STORIES, DO NOT READ FURTHER.

As of one or two weeks ago, I was facing a minor surgery to remove six, count 'em SIX, fibroids. For those of you who haven't Googled this stuff, a fibroid is a non-cancerous growth that often grows inside women over 35. Sometimes they cause problems, sometimes not. They go away on their own when a woman starts menopause. Lovely, huh?

So, you can imagine my surprise when I woke up after a SIX-HOUR surgery that involved removing just two fibroids. No big deal, right? Two is better than six. When the surgeon used the word 'cantalope' to describe the size of one of the fibroids, that's when I really woke up!

Imagine a small football (15+ cm) lodged between a bunch of...let's call them 'girlie bits.' The issue, it seemed was not only the size of the growth, but the fact that wrapped around this offending blob was a crucial blood vessel and another pretty important ligament.

DaVinci robot to the rescue! This amazing bit of machinery helped my doctor to not only disconnect the vital artery without spraying blood all over the operating room, but also to chop up this blob into tiny bits that he could remove through a tiny incision. My doctor is a magician!

I wondered why I haven't been hungry in, oh, a month or two, but it seems this offending mass was pushing everything else out of its way. Ovaries smoooshed to the side, uterus squished to a tiny mass. It wasn't pretty. I saw some wonderfully graphic photos (which I hope to show here) that were taken by the surgeon during surgery. Cool stuff (if you don't puke looking at it) that showed how HUGE this fibroid was in comparison to the normal size of my uterus, liver, ovaries and other things you read about in eighth grade biology.

While trying to chop up this mass, the doctors were concerned they might not only nick the blood vessel but also might accidently disconnect my urethra (tube that allows pee to flow from the bladder outside the body). So, they did what any concientious doctor would do, they dyed my pee BLUE! You can imagine my surprise when I woke up and discovered Kool-Aid in my catheter.

My surgeon further explained that before they could even try to get to this huge growth, they had to blow me up, balloon-style, with a ton of gas to expand my inside and give them room to work. No big deal, except that my belly looks like a beer-swilling trucker's gut. Apparently, the gas also settles into strange spots like my shoulders and my neck so I really felt like I'd been run over by a truck. Weird. Guess I'll have to wait for the flat stomach that I was counting on.

Once the blob was gone, the surgeons realized that they couldn't just sew closed the remaining hole (too big). So, I have a sheet of some kind of mesh that they attached to the gap. How they were able to move all of these materials into and out of me with only the tiny holes remaining is pretty incredible. Kinda like moving a king-size bed through a car window.
Here...look.

No MJ, just me

2009-01-13T21:51:00.005-06:00

We had just arrived at the United Center and found Section 122, Row 5. I couldn't help but think that 10 years ago, I could've sold a kidney and not gotten these great seats. Of course, back then, Michael Jordan was shaking powder off his hands right there at the scorer's desk Ahhh, those were the days!

A few months back, I went to a charity event and bid on a few silent auction items. I love to check out the options and scribble my name and a nominal bid, just to get things started. One item really caught my eye. It was titled 'Sports Lover's Dream' and it included (get ready for this), tickets to the Cubs (baseball), Sox (baseball, I guess), Blackhawks (ice hockey), Wolves (more ice hockey) and Bulls (basketball).

How many women do you know that would drool over a silent auction item like this? Seriously, stop and think about it...I'll wait.

Okay, you know at least ONE! (or, in this case, three)

The Bulls were able to make free throws. It was the shots from the floor (while moving) that gave them a bit of trouble.

I think it's very cool to see how high these guys can jump. Where's he when I need something off the top shelf?

This the greatest toy I think I've EVER seen! And he lives in the rafters of the United Center.

A first time for everything

2009-01-11T16:54:00.003-06:00

Turns out, I'm going to be having surgery. Just as an aside, if anyone reading this knows my family, please do NOT tell them. I'll explain why in a few minutes.

First off, it's not major. In fact, it's out-patient (but I don't think the hospital will let ever-independent me take a taxi home, so I'll have to work on that). It's 'a girl thing' and I'll just leave it at that. NO! I'm not pregnant! You have to have sex for that, if I recall the details of Health Class correctly. Trouble is, there's a two-week recovery time.

Oh, did I mention that this will be my FIRST EVER surgery?? Yep, I've survived life on this planet without so much as an appendix scar. No broken bones, no sprained ankles. The worst 'injury' I've ever had is chicken pox. I figured God was saving up all of my aches and pains and then when I turned 50, I'd get hit by a truck!

Anyway, the organized side of me is trying to make sure my job responsibilities are covered. How f'd up is that? Anyway, the woman that filled in for me during my Australia trip said she'll be available. Probably. Since I haven't scheduled this yet, she's not positive.

My regular doctor told me about the recovery time, but I haven't spoken to the surgeon yet. (Geez! How grown-up this all sounds!) I have a few things to ask him since I'm new to this whole 'operation' thing.

Anyhow, one of our new colleagues has offered to pick me up from the hospital and tuck me in at home and even check up on me. She's only been at the company a few weeks, but we've really hit it off, even going to the Bulls game together the other night. And since she's in my age group, single, a Cubs fan and lives about a mile from me, this could be (borrowing from Bogie), 'the beginning of a beautiful friendship.'

So the ride home is covered (and I can take a taxi to the hospital, no worries there).

The Tour Guide suggested I ask my gay neighbors to keep an eye on me while I'm recuperating and I think that's a fab idea. I'll grab a bottle of wine and stop over in the next few days to see if they'll be around.

Even my Mexican friends who work at the neighborhood breakfast joint have offered to go grocery shopping for me while I'm down. How great are these people?

Why am I not letting my mother take over the mom-ing part and just stay at her house for the entire recuperating time? I could be waited on hand-and-foot for two whole weeks! This is the kind of thing my mother LIVES for!

Well, she's been in Florida since pre-Christmas caring for her terminally ill sister (her only sister). Do I really want her to have to choose between her dying younger sister and her temporarily-incapacitated youngest daughter?

Nope.

Because my Mom might just choose incorrectly and fly home to care for me. And if (while watching me sleep on her sofa) her sister dies, how is she going to feel for not being there to say goodbye?

Getting the picture?

The second choice would naturally be one of my sisters who happens to be a nurse. Yep, she'd be the perfect advocate, talking medical stuff with my surgeon and making sure I'm propery drugged up. Couldn't ask for a more perfect sibling in this situation.

Except that she would rat me out to my mother the first chance she got. Why? Because she's like that.

I've already got books, magazines, cable TV, the internet and new Google phone to keep me busy, but I'll let you know when the big day is. Stay tuned.

The thighs they are a-burnin'

2009-01-03T23:43:00.004-06:00

So I move a little more gingerly lately, what's the big deal? And if I use my hands to steady myself as I sit down, so what? Occasionally I might groan when crouching to pick up something. No big deal.
I've started on '30 Day Shred,' the evil, mean-spirited, torture DVD put out by Jillian Michaels, one of the trainers on 'The Biggest Loser.'
I'm not fat by any measure, but I'm bigger than I want to be and that's enough for me.
In all honesty, Level 1 was a TINY bit easier on this second workout. I thought I would pass out the first time I did it, but tonight's efforts didn't make me want to fling the DVD out my window. I actually appreciated Michaels' comments of encouragement (although they were mostly drowned out by my own internal commentary that consisted of stuff like, 'quit bitching and just do it, you cow!')
There are a total of nine of us women at my office doing this workout routine (or maybe just me, most of the others have been on vacation for Christmas and New Years.) If everyone else is walking around like the Tin Man without his oil, then I'll know we're on the right track.
As for the DVD, it's broken down into three levels. You advance whenever you feel ready (which I guess means when you don't feel like puking after the workout). The first level is divided into three parts: 3 minutes strength training, 2 minutes of cardio and 1 minute of abs. Doesn't sound like much, does it?
Having a small clock on my computer screen alongside the exercise demonstrations is quite helpful. The entire workout is 20 minutes (three times the three-part routine plus 2 minutes of warm-up and cool down). There is NO, I repeat, NO stopping during the workout.
A few things I've learned about myself and exercise:

I can't drink water before I exercise or I want to throw up during jumping jacks
I need to use the toilet before I start or else....
I'm not hungry when I finish the workout. Thirsty? Yes, but not hungry. Weird.
A four-year-old photo of myself in a bikini posted on my refrigerator is a wonderful motivator.
Writing my level of workout and time exercised on a calendar posted on my wall is showing my level of dedication. To no one but me, but I'm just saying..
Leaving my hand weights and workout mat in the middle of my living room floor is a not-so-subtle reminder to myself of my obligation.

Once I can walk without impersonating an arthritic senior citizen, I will attempt to do these workouts on a daily basis, rather than every other day. I'll keep you posted.

Payback is wonderful!

2008-12-20T11:04:00.002-06:00

A knock on my door had me scrambling for my bathrobe as I had been online shopping in my jammies. My neighbor was standing there holding my Pyrex dish. I had given him and his partner the dish full of the delicious beef stew that I had made almost two weeks ago to ward off the cold of the Chicago winter.
Since I hadn't seen my dish since then, I figured they might have dropped it and were now guiltily searching for a replacement. It seemed heavy in my hands...and cold.
"I made you flan," my neighbor said as I looked down into the creamy dessert goodness.
I LOVE having gay men as neighbors!

A made-for-tv life

2008-12-07T16:49:00.003-06:00

After my first week back at work, I was too tired (from the office Christmas party on Friday too!) to go out Saturday night, so I found myself channel surfing. Stopped when the TV screen was full of ocean waves. Yep, images of warm, foamy salt water will usually keep my attention - - if only momentarily.
Travel Channel?
No.
Lifetime. (For my foreign pals, it's a female-oriented cable station that features lots of romantic and dramatic movies.)
Anyway, the made-for-tv film featured a single woman in my age group who goes on vacation alone to Hawaii (thought I was the only woman who goes on vacation alone?!?!) and meets up with a handsome surf instructor who is SEVERAL years her junior.
Of course my thoughts went to Tour Guide and the lovely hot, sunny weather in Darwin.
Is it completely unfair that the lead character--the 'older woman' - -in this show was played by Heather Locklear?

I did go to Australia and I have proof!

2008-11-29T20:47:00.005-06:00

Low Isles, about 30 minutes off the coast of Australia near Port Douglas. You can snorkel right off the beach. Several tour groups anchor off the coast and send their charges via glass-bottomed boat to the beach where we don equipment and hit the reef - - not literally!

So many fish, so little time to see and snap them all! Went snorkeling at the Low Isles on my birthday. How fun!

Raise your hand if you spotted the GIANT clam in the upper right corner of this somewhat hazy underwater photo.

Breaky with a view. Does it get any better than this? 9am Monday at the Soul 'n' Pepper in Port Douglas.

Not the average souvenirs at Market Day in Port Douglas, no sir!

Aboriginal paintings at Nourlangie Rock. Very interesting tour all around.

What a beautiful little instrument of death, huh?

Sunset at the Wharf in Darwin. I watched the sun rise in Port Douglas and it setting in the Northern Territory. Life's pretty good.

If you don't know this building, you seriously need to get out more.

This was my view from my apartment at the Archipelago in Port Douglas. Is there any question as to why I abandoned the crappy weather in Sydney to go back there?

Despite the loud screeching and 100-mile-an-hour rocketing past my balcony, I really loved these guys.

Market Day in Port Douglas brings out vendors in all shapes and sizes, even those bearing no trinkets to sell. If you have hands, you're a customer.

I'm taking my row boat and going home!

You can keep your drive-through liquor stores, I'll take the belly-up-to-the-counter type.

Can't get much fresher than buying the just-picked produce at Market Day.

If you want to see more photos, go to www.mjs.smugmug.com

First awkward steps back into reality

2008-11-28T08:25:00.003-06:00

I walked out of the elevator and tried to remember which key fits the deadbolt on the door of the condo I've owned in Chicago for more than six years. It felt weird coming home after almost a month in Australia. I'd really immersed myself into life there and now I didn't know what to expect.
Dropping my bags in my living room, I walked to the kitchen and tentatively open the refrigerator like you would after a friendly host tells you to "just make yourself at home." Nothing much to eat.
Where to start? Since Thanksgiving is a postal holiday, I knew I wouldn't have mail waiting for at least a day or two and laundry could wait.
Too tired to think about getting anything done, I got ready for bed. Couldn't for the life of me remember how to turn on the bedside lamp and thank God I didn't have to set an alarm.
Woke up in the middle of the night and knew I had to pee. Muscle memory took me to the bathroom, but I really wasn't surprised to find myself fumbling around on the top of the toilet tank for the half-button to flush. (We have a lever on the side.)
This is home, huh?

Going 'home'

2008-11-25T18:31:00.003-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - -I've got a little bit of time before the shuttle comes to take me to the airport to fly back to Chicago. I should say 'back home', but it's getting harder and harder to leave Australia because it feels so much like home to me. I guess seven visits in as many years will do that, huh?
Of course, in a bit of finger-wagging, Mother Nature has given me a very beautiful day to leave. Jeez! Couldn't it rain or be windy or something like that? Even the infamous Australian flies aren't bothering me today.
I must say, I did have a nice sendoff last night with two German colleagues who are doing business in Sydney this week. We had a nice dinner and then moved up to the Horizon bar on the 36th floor of the Shangri-La hotel for drinks. What was really the perfect ending for the evening was when we downshifted to the Observer Hotel (really casual local place) and heard some nice live music. My colleagues saw a bottle of whiskey that looked interesting and decided to try it. Turns out, Slate whiskey is from Chicago!

Last day in paradise

2008-11-23T20:00:00.004-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS,AU - - I've just finished my last breakfast at the Soul 'n' Pepper. Okay, you caught me, I ordered a strawberry smoothie as dessert after brekky simply because I didn't want to leave yet. Nothing like a 2-hour breakfast to start your last day off right.
There was something about the bright orange flowers on a nearby tree set up against the backdrop of a fresh green coconut palm and a baby blue sky that made me want to pack a bag and move right in.
As you may have guessed, now the melancholy has started to set in.
My flight to Cairns leaves tomorrow morning at the ungodly hour of 5am! On Wednesday, I fly back to Chicago. Back to a reality that has nothing I want in my life (okay, maybe my family...and the Cubs, but that's about it).
As abrupt as the hemispheric change will be, I guess it's a good thing that I'm spending one day in Sydney before leaving for Chicago. I don't expect it to be warm, but it certainly won't be freezing like my home. Long pants? Yes. Gloves? No.
When I get home, I think I'll start planning my next trip. How many days till Spring Training starts?

Back where I belong

2008-11-20T19:18:00.003-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS, AU - -Yep, I did it. I flew back up to Cairns and shuttled back to PD. I couldn't help it. Here I was in Sydney, one of my favorite cities in the world, but I was absolutely miserable. Granted, it could have been the weather (chilly, windy, rainy) or it could have been the traffic (I wasn't driving, but I couldn't sleep for the car noise).
It was raining when I flew out of Sydney and raining when I landed at Cairns, but in Mother Nature's wonderful way of agreeing with my choice, the rain in Queensland provided about a half a dozen waterfalls for me to enjoy on the ride up to Port Douglas. And it stopped raining just as we pulled into the Archipelago (my hotel). Take THAT! Sydney!
While it has rained a few brief times since I've been here, the temperature is averaging about 10-12 degrees C warmer than Sydney so I don't really care about precip! Today, it's crazy hot with a scalding blue sky so I'm quite happy. I may even book another trip out to the Great Barrier Reef or maybe up to the Daintree Rainforest, I can't decide.
As for TG, I considered going back to Darwin, but decided against it because 1) it's terribly expensive and 2) it could be considered stalking since we only knew each other a short time. BUT, he did invite me to be a friend on Facebook (so I've got that going for me!)
The Central Hotel (tavern and hotel) had a free screening of "Fool's Gold" last night in its backyard garden patio. The movie was filmed in Port Douglas last year when I was here (but I sure as hell didn't see any movie stars ;-((. I almost cheered when Matthew McConaughey's(sp?) character walked into the front door of the Central Hotel to get a drink. Later on, he was on a speed boat that shot past the waterfront restaurant Soul N' Pepper and it really made me proud to be here. Guess I'll have to buy the DVD so I can look for more locations.
Too beautiful outside to be indoors on a computer, so I'm outta here!!!

Tour guide

2008-11-17T21:48:00.002-06:00

SYDNEY,AU- - I'm writing this from Sydney, but my mind is still in Darwin (even my cell phone refuses to change timezones).
When I called Tour Guide, I got his cell phone voicemail so I told him that I'd love to have drinks with him and he should call me. After I hung up, I realized that he might have trouble calling me internationally and he might not remember what hotel I am staying in and he might not know my last name! Yeesh!
This guy is smart. Not only did he keep the tour manifest from my trip (so he had my last name and my hotel), but he saved money by just calling me at the hotel!
We met at my hotel (he said if he met me at a bar, there would definitely be 'some other bloke' already sitting with me) and walked about a block in the hot Darwin night.
Great conversation filled the evening with talk of the Cubs (yes, he'd LOVE to see a professional game as he's played softball in Australia); travel (he's only been to the US one time and that was as a camp counselor in upstate NY); rugby (he told me the basic rules and the difference between rugby union and rugby league...can't remember now, though); and how much he loves his job.
What made the evening so wonderful (for me, at least) was the amazing fact that this was finally a guy who ENJOYED CONVERSATION with a woman! I didn't have to ramble on like an idiot just to fill the void. TG was very attentive, keeping eye contact with me all evening. (Of course, I found out later that he didn't want to let me see him checking me out!) This was by far the most comfortable evening I'd spent with a man in...I don't know how long!
Since we traded turns buying a round of drinks, I wasn't sure if this was, in fact, a date. I guess I'm old-fashioned in American ways where the man pays for everything. But when he walked me back to my hotel (after both of us admitted we didn't want the evening to end) and asked if I didn't mind getting 'picked up' by a bus driver, I knew there was definitely interest beyond casual conversation.
Since I consider this a 'family' blog, I won't tell you how the date ended (or when), but I got an email from TG and it definitely made me smile. Did I mention that TG is 28 years old?!?!?!
Oh, one more thing: I've been in Sydney for less than 24 hours and I've heard the name of an Australian town that TG mentioned (new to me), heard an old song from the Blues Brothers movie (exact song that TG and I talked about) and the Jetstar customer support person who helped me book my flight to Port Douglas had the same name as TG.
Strange, huh?

Small world

2008-11-17T21:39:00.002-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - Here I am in one of my favorite cities in the world and I'm depressed. Okay, it could be because it's overcast, cool and windy here. But I know that's not it. I feel like there's a great party going on somewhere nearby but I can't go. Or at least I thought I couldn't.
I've just booked my return flight to Port Douglas TOMORROW! I didn't bring enough springlike attire to stay in Sydney with this definitely-not-beach weather, so I'm outta here. Also, I have friends there (and also in Darwin, which I'll get to later), so I'd rather be there.
As I walked into this internet cafe to download my flight confirmation, I saw a work colleague from our home office in Frankfurt! Small damned world! He said another colleague will be here next week so we made tentative plans for the three of us to meet for dinner the evening before I leave for Chicago. Nice to see him, but I really didn't want to think about work yet.

Kakadu...or however you spell it

2008-11-15T05:27:00.002-06:00

DARWIN, AU - -No, I did not get eaten by a crocodile but I did see HEAPS of them! In addition to being scary as shit, they're really beautiful (even from 3 feet away!) I took a boat tour and was in the midst of about half a dozen (that we could actually see in the murky water) of the man-eating creatures. Fabulous!
Things I learned today:

This area is called The Top End, the NT or the Northern Territory (which is pronounced by EVERYBODY as 'Northern Territree')
A billabong is a pond. But I really don't think the creators of "On Golden Pond" ever considered adding crocodiles, adders and poisonous snakes to their movie.
Kakadu National Park should be spelled Gangaju but some stupid European spelled it wrong. Figures!
When an Aboriginal person dies, his/her name and or likeness are not to be used for a period of time. Apparently, doing so prevents his/her spirit from moving on from this world.
The white-breasted eagle (another beautiful creature!) is the animal that the Aboriginal people believes carries the dead person's spirit to the next world. Therefore, these are highly respected and valued animals.
Another Aboriginal bit: in their lore, evil spirits have four fingers, good spirits have three. Just so ya know!
Termites know how to live right. They build fabulous cathedral mounds.
Electrical lines are strung not on wood poles, but on steel ladder-type poles because 1) aforementioned termites, and 2) when the annual burning is conducted according to Aboriginal tradition...um, oops! wooden light towers go bye-bye!
How can you NOT love a country with a city (a small one) named Humpty Doo.

Oh, did I mention the tour guide wants to talk sports with me? Apparently, he'd love to go to a baseball game. I have his number.

The Top End

2008-11-14T04:02:00.002-06:00

DARWIN, AU - - Tomorrow I'm off to Kakadu National Park. Wish I could tell you what I expect to see but I haven't the faintest idea. Which is a very much how I feel about Darwin so far. Haven't the faintest idea.
It does remind me of Perth (which I visited a few years ago). It's a small town with not much tourism and pretty much no sophistication whatsoever. Not to say it's a bad place. I mean, how can you dislike a place that has a bar called "Duck's Nuts"?
It seems most of the tourism here revolves around crocodiles (which are apparently all over the place despite the fact that I haven't seen one). I did see a fantastic shirt with fake blood all over it and read "I survived a croc attack in Darwin." Just lovely!
Oh, did I mention that it's hot here? Yes, it was hot in Port Douglas, but Darwin is missing the lovely tradewinds that kept things wonderfully pleasant and liveable in PD. Darwin is drink-tons-of-water and don't-worry-about-a-shower kind of hot and sticky. Deodorant manufacturers must make a mint here!
Oh, speaking of Port Douglas, it seems I'll be making a return trip. I've been checking the weather in Sydney (my next planned city) and it will be CRAPPY! We're talking about cloudy and cool pretty much EVERY day! I certainly didn't fly all this way to bundle up in long sleeves and jeans. No sir! I've been checking the flights and I can skip town (back to Port Douglas) for about $140 USD.
I'm soooo there!

Something to be said for presentation

2008-11-10T21:27:00.002-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS, AU - - "Eggs and toast" was the listing on the menu at the Soul 'n' Pepper restaurant. Simple, but just what I wanted this morning after my birthday.
What arrived was much more than the basic greasy-spoon dish. A huge pile of fluffy yellow scrambled eggs decorated with a touch of fresh chopped parsley sat aside two inch-thick squares of raisin toast. Nearby was a tiny grape tomato split in two and a sprig of dill (?) for decoration. In the corners of my square white plate were dustings of paprika that illuminated the shape of the dish and drew attention to the food within its boundaries.
Maybe it wasn't the food so much as the view just past my plate (sorry, no picture yet). As I looked past the eggs, toast and my flat white (a mix of expresso and silky smooth creamy foam), I saw that what was just a few individual rocks dotting the beach a few minutes before became a rock-filled bay as the tide roared out. No crocodiles in sight, despite the sign warning of their presence (in English and German). A tour boat heading out to the Great Barrier Reef sent a fresh froth of wave into the tiny bay that formerly featured a tiny beach.
Sitting under the multitude of coconut palm trees and sail canopies that make up the eating area of this establishment and enjoying the plumeria-scented tradewinds, I felt no reason to leave...ever.
That is brekky as brought to you by the Soul 'n' Pepper restaurant in Port Douglas, AU.

Australia - -beautiful country and more ways to kill you than anywhere else!

2008-11-09T03:56:00.003-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS, AU - - Christel (who, along with her husband, Wolfgang, owns the lovely little hotel where I'm staying) and Bronwyn (the housekeeper - -yes, they only have one) and I were sitting around discussing travel in Australia.
During a tiny break from her usual online work, Christel looked up the hotel where I'll be staying in Darwin when I leave Port Douglas on Thursday. "Very nice," was Christel's comment. She had traveled to Darwin years before ever meeting Wolfgang and has always wanted to go back.
"You know you can't swim up in Darwin," mentioned Bronwyn, very matter-of-factly. "Because of the crocodiles."
Ya gotta love Australia! Always something to keep you on your toes!
And, yes, the hotel does have a swimming pool.

Potential stowaway

2008-11-09T03:44:00.003-06:00

PORT DOUGLAS, AU - - Okay, now I'm in one of my favorite towns in the world (even though it's changed some since Hollywood discovered it last year while filming "Fool's Gold.") It's been an unusual trip so far, I must say.
I'm having a harder time than usual down-shifting from 'work mode.' I still walk entirely too fast for a beach stroll and I can't help but think of what's happening at my office.
Another odd occurence will happen tomorrow. Okay, it's not odd that its my birthday. I've grown accustomed to that. What's strange is that for the past three or four years, I've been fortunate enough to be able to spend my special day snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef and I might not be able to do that this year. I must say, though, that visiting the lovely rainbow-hued fishes doesn't suck. In fact, there aren't many better ways to spend one's birthday. Not in my humble opinion anyway.
The Wavedancer, the boat that usually transports me and about 50 other people out to the Low Isles, is out of commission (maintenance) until well after I leave Port Douglas. Strike one.
Sailaway, another tour offering to the Low Isles, is booked up with a private party. Strike two.
Tallahook, a third tour operator with a lovely 25-person maximum party size, accepted my booking this morning and confirmed that I would be picked up at 8:45 tomorrow morning. And then, at 4:15 this afternoon, they called to say that since they didn't have enough people (I guess it would've been a VERY private tour), they were cancelling my trip. Strike three...
Or is it?
I've decided that I'm going to pack a bag for a boat tour, stroll down to the marina, and jump aboard any boat heading toward the reef.
Wish me luck!

A latitude adjustment

2008-11-03T18:24:00.002-06:00

SYDNEY, AU - - Perspective can be a funny thing. In Chicago, if I have to wait five or 10 minutes to have my order taken in a restaurant, I get all pissy. In Australia, it's just 'island time.' (Okay, it's a BIG island. Work with me, people!)
I just had a late breakfast at The Gumnut, a funky little cafe with an adorable courtyard dining area. 'Adorable' being defined as full of fallen leaves and dead flower petals; a corner garden that hasn't been pruned or watered since the last typhoon; and uneven tables that, in a past life, were ancient Singer sewing machines. Oh, did I mention that said garden includes ants and the occasional tiny-but-quick iguana? It's a tiny place but just gorgeous!
Oh, and another thing...it's about 62 degrees and gray skies. But do I care?
See what I mean about perspective?
Gotta go get a bet down for the Melbourne Cup (biggest horse race this side of the equator) and then tonight I have a massage scheduled.
It's called VACATION!

Long time, no see

2008-10-12T20:47:00.002-05:00

I know, I've been a bad blogger. Missing in action. AWOL.
Usually, that's because there has been nothing in my life worth reporting, but I don't have that excuse. In fact, maybe it's because too much has been happening to have time to write.
My apologies.
After watching a personal-record 56 regular season Cubs games at such cities as Washington, DC, Pittsburgh, Toronto, St. Louis, Miami and Milwaukee, my baseball watching is over for 2008. Okay, the playoff games are on TV in my living room as I write (but I'm not watching!)
My Cubs, who had soooo much fun playing a little boy's game for so many months, took everything much too seriously and got swept out of the playoffs in the first round by the Los Angeles Dodgers. Having been a Cubs fan for about 25 years now, I have grown a thick skin to their disappointments. This year has been strange, though, with the number of people offering their condolences. But I'm over it...probably because I've had too many other things on my mind to wallow in misery over baseball.
My employer, for whom I've been an external consultant for more than 10 years!, has decided to make me 'internal.' The plusses, as my boss so carefully explained it, are the fantastic benefits (okay, the health insurance is incredible), potential educational benefits and job security. I had to choke back a laugh when she said that last thing because...um, did I mention that I've been in this job for more than 10 years?!?!
The minuses, as I see them, are a MUCH lower salary, fewer vacation days, and a job title of "office administrator." Seeing as I have been called the 'office manager' for 10 years, I certainly wasn't signing a contract that lowered my title. What kind of bullshit were they trying to pull?
Trouble is...the internal position wasn't just an option. It was the ONLY option if I wanted to stay employed there. The prior contract (which both my boss and I knew was totally illegal) was formally declared illegal by the company's legal representation so now something had to be done.
I lost the war on the salary, won the war on the job title, did get a signing bonus and I am eligible for both the year-end bonus and also the annual cost-of-living increase for 2009.
Then there's the small matter of vacation. Having collected about a billion frequent flier miles, I finally buckled down and booked what's quickly becoming my annual trip to Australia. I say 'finally' because I normally book my November trip in March or April, but I held off (see Cubs activity and job status) and didn't book it till July.
Since my internal status officially began Oct. 1, I don't qualify for all the vacation time that I've already booked. My boss (in an unusually generous mood apparently), added five vacation days to the six I would qualify for and two sick days so I don't get clobbered with unpaid time off. She was quite clear that the additional vacation days are for this year only.
Which brings me to the only really fun news that's kept me from posting and that's my annual run-away-from-home!!! There's something about getting an email from the other side of the planet saying how 'happy we are that you'll be here' and 'we'll catch up over a couple of bottles of Australian wine' that really warms my heart.
Why is it that the people I've worked with Monday through Friday for 10 years treat me like shit, but the people I see for one week per year only four or five times ever can make me feel so special?