What year is this?

Overheard in a public restroom the other day, 'You should take a chill pill!'

Karma connection??

Has this ever happened to you?
I was participating in a research study. Waiting for a nurse to come in and draw my blood. My mind wandered and for no apparent reason, I thought about a surgery that I had had about two years ago (see photo above).
And then...and this is the weird part...about 30 minutes later my cell phone rings and it's the doctor who performed the surgery!! He's participating in a webcast about that type of surgery and wanted to know if I'd be willing to talk about it online!
(If the Twilight Zone theme music is playing in your head, too, I wouldn't be at all surprised.)
Photo is from my post-op stomach. If you are grossed out, just be happy I didn't post the photos of the INSIDE of my stomach!

Too much time, too litte $$$

You would think that an unemployed person would have TONS of time to spare. But I've been incredibly busy!
I think this is the universe coming around to bite me in the ass after I had the aforementioned thought about another friend who is unemployed but 'didn't have the time' to attend a potentially helpful networking event.
Okay, it's not EXACTLY the same. Many of my activities are very soul-fulfilling, if not filling for my wallet. I've been involved in a number of research studies (okay, they do pay...and pretty well considering the time involved).
I've had 2 fMRIs in the past month and earned about $200 for them. A fMRI is a medical test that is similar to an X-ray except they don't use any radiation and they do use sound waves and magnets (so it's not dangerous).
Along with the fMRIs were a bunch of cognitive exams. Let's try one like the ones I did.
Read this list of words:
spinach
truck
giraffe
desk
motorcycle
cabinet
onion
subway
zebra
bookcase
boat
carrot
elephant
lamp

Okay, now close your eyes and try to repeat as many of those words as you can. No peeking!
Not so easy, is it? This was one of MANY cognitive exams I had to do. The tests were part of a study working with schizophrenic patients (but I was part of the control group). Interesting, huh?
I'm also involved with another group that studies the affects of pasta on women's diets and hormonal levels. Since I eat pasta at least 2-3 times per month, I could definitely get on-board with this study. And they pay to feed you!!!
Oh, I'm also the volunteer coordinator for a charity that I've been helping the last few years. We have a HUGE fundraiser coming up in July and I need to build an army of volunteers to make sure that everything runs well.
So far, I only have about 25 people (and I need about 70). Wish me luck!

Cooked to death

Over my weekly Saturday breakfast with my 80-something mother, I mentioned what a wonderfully delicious dinner I had fixed for myself recently.
In an attempt to enjoy a balanced diet, I try to stick to the meat/starch/veggie plan, so dinner was as follows: boneless, skinless chicken breast in a honey & wine sauce with sweet potato coins and garlic asparagus.
Yummy, right?
My mother's comment: "You're getting to be too good a cook, you'll get fat!"
?!?!?!?!
My family has perfected the ability to take a positive accomplishment and spin it into a potentially deadly feat.
If I haven't said it before, let me say it now: My family is not supportive or encouraging.
There.

The universe is having target practice and I'm wearing a bull's eye

Is this week over yet?
Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I'd REALLY like to stay home under the covers for, say, the next couple of days. Would anyone mind?
On Sunday, I treated myself to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. While I chatted with an usher, one of the Pittsburgh Pirates players ripped a batting practice ball into the left field stands and WHAM! hit me on the side of my face!!!
More embarrassed than hurt, I allowed the security personnel to take me to First Aid where I partook of some aspirin (no ice packs necessary). NEVER in the literally hundreds of baseball games I've attended have I been hit with a ball. Geez!!!
Oh, and the Cubs lost.
Fast-forward to Tuesday and another Cubs game. Although it's been pretty chilly here in Chicago, I had previously neglected to bring my 'Opening Day blanket.' It's a lovely, dark blue medium-sized blanket with wind-blocking vinyl on one side and a few straps to hold it together when it's folded up. Perfect to keep me warm during the spring at Wrigley.
Apparently, it's also a great target for the winged rats (i.e. seagulls) that have taken an early season-liking to the skies above the Friendly Confines.
You know where this is going, right?
Sure enough, during the late innings, I thought maybe someone had spilled a beer from the upper deck, but NO!!! two huge splatters of bird shit landed on my blanket-covered lap!
But my boys won, so YAY! for that.
I didn't attend the game on Wednesday, but instead ran some errands, including one that brought me southbound on I-55 just outside downtown Chicago. A large white van curved onto the exit ramp just to my right and then, without warning, swerved back into my lane!! Fortunately, the state of Illinois (and my mother) are correct in their opinion of my fine driving skills as I managed not to hit the moron.
Hope everyone else is having a MUCH better week!
If anyone needs me, I'll be under the covers.

The Case of the Missing Clothes

I recently returned from my annual jaunt to the Cubs spring training in Arizona, but I was not a happy camper. Okay, since it was 36 degrees in Chicago and 76 in Arizona, it was understandable that I was in a bit of a snit going home (oh, how I love me some hot weather!!!)
My bad attitude was definitely of my own doing (isn't it always?), but a complete stranger single-handedly pulled me out of my doldrums with a random act of kindness.
Here's what happened...
While sitting on the grassy berm (thought I would write 'knoll' didn't ya?), I met a nice, single fellow who lived in the area and offered to go for a drink after the game. When he started to get in my car (I know, I know...never let strangers in your car!), I grabbed the 2 jackets and scarf that I was planning to wear home and threw them in the back seat of the rental car.
You know where this is going, don't you?
Yep, I left the three important articles in the car. (No, nothing came of the 'post-game drink.' Thanks for asking.)
Changing into my 'cold weather' clothes in the airport bathroom, I realized that I had no appropriate outerwear for the just-above freezing weather that would greet me in Chicago. Two long-sleeved shirts and jeans. That's it.
After making several unanswered calls to the rental car company, I stood in the gate area with a distinctly cranky look on my face (I'm sure, I'm not very good at hiding my emotions.)
"Well, I know why you were here," said Phoenix Inspector (we're going to call him PI) after noticing my long-sleeved Cubs shirt.
"Um, yeah." Did I mention I was NOT HAPPY?
It turns out PI lives in Phoenix, but comes to Chicago almost every other week. After hearing my stupid mistake, he offered to bring my belongings on his next trip (if/when the rental company finds them).
How nice is that?
We exchanged business cards and said our goodbyes prior to boarding our very-crowded flight.
Turns out, the rental car company found my clothes (after assuring them for the 50th time that the clothes were NOWHERE ELSE EXCEPT the backseat of the car). They asked for a credit card number and sent them to me via 3-day FedEx.
Happy ending!!!
Question: I considered calling PI and telling him the result, but offering to buy him a drink the next time he's in town just to repay his offer of kindness. That doesn't sound like a pick-up line, does it?

Bridal bouquet of maple leafs

I just returned from a wedding in Canada. The bride is a Canadian friend who lived in Chicago up until about 3 years ago. She called me in December to tell me about the wedding and ask me if I could make it.
'Wouldn't miss it,' was my answer. It was true. Although we have grown apart since she left Chicago, I still consider her a good friend and wanted to be there for the biggest day of her life (so far, anyway).
The bride and her groom are both from small families (okay, small in comparison to my massive clan), so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when the entire reception totaled 30-40 people. That's essentially my immediate family...just for comparison sake.
Anyway, the ceremony was lovely, albeit different from the numerous over-the-top glamfests that I've been involved in. The bridal party included one matron of honor and one best man (both women). No religious ritual here. Just a female minister from some organization I'd never heard of, reading some wonderful, heartwarming sentiments followed by vows and ring exchange and wrapped up with the reading of a poem by a family friend.
Did I mention it was lovely? Simple, direct, unique and wonderful.
The reception wasn't really the typical reception, but I expected nothing less. It was dinner in a private room (with a fireplace!) in a steakhouse/bar that the bridal couple frequent. There were no ceremonial introductions, no receiving line, no DJ or band, no tossing of the bouquet, no garter snatching and tossing, no first dance.
Lovely!
I was seated with another American, a friend whom I hadn't seen in several years. Aside from the bridal couple, this woman was one of only four people in the room that I had EVER met!
It's always interesting and exciting when there are lots of new people to meet...in another country to boot!. People who didn't know you weren't popular in high school, wore braces for three years and were a bit pigeon-toed in grammar school. A fresh new start in socializing!! Yay!
Nevertheless, at least three complete strangers came up to me and said, 'Oh, YOU'RE (The Writer)!'
Am I wearing a sign?

I'll take a nametag and a bar of soap

In a feeble attempt to expand my social horizons, I've taken to frequenting a restaurant/bar that's just down the road from my condo. I describe it as a 'feeble' attempt because I stop at this place probably two or three times a month. So I'm not exactly a 'regular,' but I've managed to get to know some employees and a few actual regulars.
Part of my expanded social horizon also includes volunteer work. One of the charities I support is run by people in Atlanta, so if they need something done locally, I'm one of the people they call.
Not long ago, I had a brilliant idea to ask my 'hang out' if they would offer specialty drinks to benefit the Atlanta-based charity. They were 'happy to help,' according to the bar manager.
Yay!!
The drink recipes had already been created by the charity, so I organized the necessary signage for the bar and prepared to talk up the new creations among my new fellow regulars.
Fast forward to last night, my first opportunity to actually try the new creations and work on my sales techniques with a Saturday night crowd.
Selling drinks, not me, mind you.
I sat at the crowded bar and ordered the tequila-based creation. I took a sip. Hmmn....it's not as sweet as I thought it might be (with juices and agave nectar in it). I think I like it and I would expect men would like it because it's not a 'girly' drink.
In the middle of my internal diagnosis of the cocktail, the man sitting directly on my right suddenly spun around and extended his hand.
"I didn't realize who I was sitting next to?! Ms. Sawyer?"
Confused, I shook my head.
"Diane Sawyer?"
Okay, the ABC News corespondent is an attractive woman, but she's 20 years older than me!!!
In order to keep myself from saying something unnecessarily rude to this guy, I just shook my head again and turn to the guy sitting on my left. He had just taken the seat and seemed to be alone.
And then I found out why.
A wall of funky, sweaty b.o. hit me as I turned toward him. There certainly wasn't enough tequila in my new cocktail to offset this assault.
I lifted my drink and my coat and retreated to the other corner of the bar.
So, how was your Saturday night?

That's what friends are for, right?

I've always wondered how it is that guys can reconnect with a friend after many years apart and just pick up where they left off...like they started the conversation just yesterday. Like the past, oh, 10 or 20 years never happened.
And then SusieQ sat down and reminded me about how I barfed on a Southern Illinois highway some 20+ years ago after a significant number of tequila sunrises. Ah, those were the days!!
This past week has been full of wonderful surprises. I'm so happy that I was able to catch up with two friends who played very different roles in my life then and still do today. Okay, Kung Fu Girl entered my life just a few years ago, but we seemed so similiar even at the start of our friendship that we try to keep in touch at least semi-annually.
SusieQ, however, is a friend from my college days. She's one of those rare people that could probably tell a number of terribly embarrassing stories about me if given the opportunity in the right company.
Note to self: Never introduce SusieQ to my current group of friends!
It's funny how people who've skipped massive chunks of the dramatic periods in your life can somehow skip right through to the core of who you are just at the time when that core-drilling needs doing? (Does that make any sense?)
Anyhow, thank you, Kung Fu girl, for helping me sort out some current insanity and reminding me that I'm probably on the right track in my life. And to SusieQ for reminding me that a little insanity is often a good thing.

Happy New Year!!

I was returning from my mother's home in the suburbs, just about to pull into my condo's underground garage when I saw the young man with the food delivery jump out of his parked car. Trouble was, he parked behind my building and he would be towed if he left his car there.
How did I know? Because approximately 8 or 9 years ago (before I had a leased parking spot), I left my car in that exact spot and got towed in under 3 minutes. (The bastards at Lincoln Towing are nothing if not efficient!)
"You can't park there," I said to him as he walked toward the building across from mine. "You'll get towed!"
"Okay, thanks," he said as he climbed back in and started his car.
I pulled into my garage, pleased in the knowledge that I had just saved someone from the crappy fate of a towed car on New Year's Day.
I smiled as I stepped out of my car and started walking toward the door to the elevators for my building.
A shirt box containing pajamas from my mother were in my left hand, my purse was slung over my shoulder and a bag containing wine bottles (from my brother) were in my right hand, so I would have to do some maneuvering to get the door to the elevator bank open.
A man I had never seen before (in a Cubs sweatshirt and pajama pants) emerged from the door with a plastic laundry hamper. He started to walk across the garage floor, looked at me for a split-second and then turned around and went back to the door.
He opened the door and stood there, holding it for me.
"Thank you," I smiled at the kind gesture.
And there it was....the good karma of the world in complete equilibrium.
Pass it on.

To call back or not to call back?

So I get a call from a male friend (WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, so everyone calm down). He's back in town from a trip to somewhere lovely and warm and wants me to come out for a drink (and to listen to him gloat and show off his tan).
I'm not doing anything interesting at home, so I go. Turns out, he's invited several friends (most of whom I've never met). I'm cool with that since I enjoy meeting new people.
Within an hour of my arrival, there are four or five of us around the table and I'm the only female. Again, not a problem for me. In fact, my friend received a text from somewhere else in the bar asking 'who's the blonde?'
My friend waves his cell phone at me and tells me that I got promoted.
The group of us start having several conversations at once. I'm from a large family, so this is a pretty common situation. The guy I'm talking to happens to be a Chicago cop. Since I've been a magnet for parking tickets this year, I figure I'll make friends. You never know, right?
I decided almost immediately that was a bad idea and I'll let you guys decide if I was right with my intuition.
The cop and I trade cell phone numbers ('in case I ever get in trouble and need to get things straightened out,' he says).
The group breaks up around 11:30 and I go home and go to bed (I'm not all that interesting, did I mention that?)
The following day I check my cell phone and I got a text from the cop.
"R U still out?"
It was 2:30 am!
I received another text later that week....at 1:30 am.

NOT the next Food Network star

My 80-something mother has long had a habit of having long telephone conversations with total strangers. She has been known to make a rather large purchase (like a new roof for her house) OVER THE PHONE! So when she relayed this story to me, I wasn't entirely surprised...only terribly dismayed.
Apparently, my mother's homeowners insurance and auto insurance rates have increased dramatically recently with no good reason. Mom isn't usually one to fight the system, but surprisingly, she took it upon herself to call someone and discuss the situation.
A young lady in Omaha (?) answered the phone when Mom called about her homeowners insurance. After about 25 minutes, the young lady was able to determine that Mom's rates shouldn't have been so high and was able to bring them down to a manageable level.
Mom was pleased.
The young lady asked my mom (apropos of nothing) if she bakes.
"Um, yes, sometimes," my mother replied.
"Well, my grandmother used to bake bread from scratch," the Omaha miss explained. "A few years after she died, I decided I would try to make some bread. I went to the store and asked if they had scratch."

I am not making this up.

Some 'friend,' huh?

I guess I could consider it a 'blast from the past,' but truth is...this is a past I'd pretty much rather forget.
Checking my email accounts the other day, I came across a 'friend request' from my ex-husband. At least I THINK it was from him. He has a very common name and there have been past 'friend requests' from people I've never met. There was no photo attached and when I clicked on his name, there was no background information on the sender.
Anyway...what to do?
Some background.
We were married for five years to.the.day. Yep, we filed for divorce on our fifth anniversary. It was a very low-key, no-muss, no-fuss divorce. We went our separate ways and that was that...until about 4 years ago when I got a phone call from a lawyer who was looking for my ex.
How and why did they find me? In the years since the divorce, I had returned to my maiden name and purchased a condo approximately 45 minutes from the home we had shared during the marriage.
In the phone call with the lawyer, I discovered that my ex owed approximately $20,000 in credit card debt and legal fees. But why call me? Apparently, my name was on the credit card account - even though the account was opened after the divorce was final!
I relayed this information to the lawyer and then told him the town where my ex's parents lived (last I heard anyway). Maybe they knew where he was because I had no contact at all in the years since the divorce.
Nice, huh?
And, yes, I ignored the 'friend' request.

Television karma

The hostess of this fashion-themed TV show was telling her new client that ideally, she should be able to pick three things out of her closet and just KNOW that they will go together.
"Just like Garanimals," I thought to myself, remembering not only the child-geared clothing line that matches separates by their animal tags, (Lion-tagged tops match lion-tagged bottoms, etc.) but a dearly departed friend of mine who used to joke that he used Garanimals to pick out his clothing (in his adult years).
As the show went to commercial, I walked to my kitchen for a snack, still thinking of my pal, Bob, who died much too young in a car accident.
Bright colors and bouncy music brought my attention back to the TV screen...just in time to see a commercial for (wait for it)...



Garanimals.

Those crazy folks in Elgin

It's rare that I can read the newspaper and find something funny. Today was a rare day.

Woman Calls 911 from Police Car

A woman being arrested for DUI early Friday morning called 911 from an Elgin squad car, police said.

Andrea Eichenold, 50, from the 800 block of Willow Street in Lake in the Hills, was driving on Dundee Avenue in Elgin about 1:30 a.m. when police noticed she wasn’t staying in her lane and then ran over a curb as she made a right turn, according to a police report.

She was stopped and officers reported that her breath smelled like alcohol. When she got out of her car, she left it in drive and it hit a concrete parking barrier, which she told police was because she was nervous. But she failed three field tests and refused to take a breath test, the report said.

Eichenold was put into the back of a squad car while police inventoried her vehicle. When they returned, they found her on the phone with a 911 dispatcher saying she was being detained by police and didn’t know why.

She was charged with DUI and improper lane usage and released after posting $100 bond.

World Wide Web of Sports

So much for being anonymous, right? Starting tomorrow afternoon at 3:00 Central time, I will be co-hosting a sports talk radio show right here on the lovely internet. If you ever wondered what 'The Writer" sounds like, here's your chance to find out.
How odd is that, huh?
I've been a fan of Chicago sports since...well, probably since I was in grammar school. I remember coming home from school and turning on WGN TV and watching the Chicago Cubs games. Back then, they used to have all their home games during the day and several afternoon games didn't start till 3pm, so I could run the three blocks home from school and not miss more than an inning or two.
How did I fall into this (hopefully) wonderful opportunity?
Dumb luck, I guess. I answered an ad (also on the internet). Geez! What did we ever DO before the internet. I don't know, maybe TALK to each other and actually SEE each other?! Now we just plant ourselves in front of our little screens and 'interact.'
But I digress...
The boss is some Chicago sports fan who lives and works in Dallas. Apparently, he's also a writer and has a book out now. He plans to have me and my co-host interview him about his sports-related book on the show tomorrow...for an HOUR!!! It's supposed to be the second hour of the 2-hour premiere. Personally, if we spend an hour talking about a book, I'm certain we'll lose whatever fans we are lucky enough to attract.
But that's just MY opinion.
So feel free to tune in (and maybe send us an email or call in...if you want to chime in with your feelings about Chicago sports) and then feel free to turn off the second hour and...I don't know, go outside! play with your dog!! go shopping at a mall!!! dine in a restaurant!! DO SOMETHING WITH PEOPLE!
Yes, as I sit here at my computer, I realize the irony in that statement, so I'm going to leave you with this information: Sept., 18, 3pm Central time, www.chicagonationsports.com/radio.
It's a lovely day outside, so I'm outta here!

When is family not family, part II

Let's see....when I first glanced at the stationery-grade envelope, I noticed that my first name had been spelled wrong. Upon second inspection, it seems the addresser also listed the wrong apartment number (fortunately, my mail carrier knows me).
Yep, another invitation from a person who wouldn't know me if I slapped her face (which I wouldn't do because, hey! I don't know her either).
I just received an invite for a wedding. It's not from a brother or sister, a cousin, a nephew or niece, a coworker or even a former coworker! The wedding is my cousin's daughter's wedding.
There are a lot of families out there who are very close to their 'second-string' relatives. (By that I mean the aunts, uncles and cousins as opposed to the first-string relatives of mother, father, brother and sister.)
We are not one of those families...at least not at my end of the family tree.
I'm the youngest of a very large immediate family with more than 15 years separating me and my eldest sibling. I don't talk to - - much less see my cousins more than once or twice a year.
So, no, I'm not attending the wedding. Question is...do I send a present/check?
Please advise.

Pasta + red wine = good times!

I belong to a fun group of people in Chicago who have started a BYOB club. That's 'bring your own booze/bottle' for those of you who reside in a hole.
Every month, we hit a different BYOB restaurant in the city. It's a great way to check out restaurants that may be outside your neighborhood and may be different types of food that you wouldn't normally eat, but hey, it's a good time. And it's cheap(er).
And it's my turn to suggest a place. Ooooh, the pressure!
In the five-month existence of the BYOB club, we've mainly been eating at either Latin or Asian restaurants. Funny how so many Cuban, Mexican, Thai and Chinese places are BYOB (at least in Chicago). That's fine, but I wanted something different. I found an Italian place that's BYOB!!!
Let the chianti flow!
But, of course, since about 10-20 people will be dining in a restaurant of my choosing, I decided to do a reconnaissance mission and eat there.
It's a tiny place that features mainly 2- and 4-person tables. Where would our group sit?? I spotted a smallish room in the back separated only by a half-wall, perfect for a group our size. Okay, seating won't be a problem. Check!
The menu was pretty substantial with plenty of pasta, chicken, veal, beef and seafood dishes plus several choices of appetizers, soups and salads.
Something for everyone. Check!
I ordered a basic balsamic vinaigrette salad and baked gnocchi. For the ground-dwellers, gnocchi is a pasta-looking item that's made from potatoes. Looks a bit like a small seashell, but wonderfully soft and airy. Yum!
The salad was fine (I'm not a big salad fan, but thought I should try it out. Recon, ya know!) The gnocchi dish was HUGE!!!! And, oh, did I mention it's made from potatoes?!? So after eating about a third of it, I wanted to roll off my chair and pass out!
Ensuring that no one leaves hungry? Check!
One possible issue is the price. Each main dish is almost $20. Add appetizers and possibly desserts and we're looking at probably $40 per person (including tax and tip). Past BYOB dinners averaged about $20-25 per person.
Hmmm....

Can't fight the system, huh?

So the letter said, "It is the finding of the Administrative Law Judge that the information submitted supports a determination that the violation did not occur. Consequently, you are not responsible for the fine."
HA! Take that, city hall!!!
I got a parking ticket for not having a receipt in my car window. For those of you who haven't experienced the lovely, relatively new meter system in Chicago, let me explain: when you park in almost any commercial area of Chicago, you have to 'buy your time' by inserting either quarters or a credit card and purchasing a receipt that shows the latest time you will be departing your parking spot. So if the receipt reads '9:15 pm,' you have to either move your car or purchase another receipt before 9:15 pm or else you get a ticket (if they catch you).
Since there are only 2 or 3 parking meters for each block, you have to leave your parked car unguarded to walk down the street and purchase your receipt. Oftentimes, an overly eager cop will issue your ticket while you're buying your receipt!
This has happened to me at least twice in the past 6 months.
Here's the loophole...if you send a letter and your receipt (printed within 5 minutes of the ticket's issuance time) to the ticketing agency, you can fight 'the man.'
And possibly win, like I did - - both times!
Oh, did I mention that you're only supposed to be able to challenge one ticket per year???
Oops!

They put their pants on one leg at a time, too. Right?

It's funny how I've been going to a bunch of charity events lately. It seems that when I don't have the money to spend, opportunities to run up a big credit card bill arrive at every corner.
It'll come as no surprise to those that know me that the event was a sports-related one. So here I was surrounded by professional athletes and those who cheer them. It was a country music-themed event (not my style) and filled with cutesy 20-something chicas, but I was determined to have a good time anyway.
Of course, where there are professional athletes, there will be a VIP-only area complete with an earpiece-equipped, black-suited security man. Unfortunately, I didn't have access to the private area, but I found a spot at the bar that had a great view of the stage and close proximity to the VIP room.
Enter the athletes, some of whom I've met before and at least one who knows me by name and always gives me a kiss on the cheek 'hello.' And then there are the other guys, the athletes who view adoring fans as a necessary evil and would rather lose the World Series than have a lengthy conversation with said fans.
One pro (who fell squarely in the second camp), himself a 6-foot-5, muscular stud, stood near the big, burly doorman and motioned to him. I didn't hear the conversation but was able to figure out that our celebrity athlete was trying to find the men's room. Did I mention that this sports guy makes more $$$ per year than I (and many people) will collect in our entire working careers?!
So Studly Pro Athlete is directed to the restrooms that were located on the farthest side of the room from the VIP area, completely accessible to everyone at the event.
When Studly Pro Athlete realized that he would have to whip 'it' out in front of mere mortals.....well, the look on his face was priceless!!! Totally worth the entrance fee!
What made it even better was the fact that a teammate of Studly Pro Athlete (who is much shorter and less muscular) needed the facilities, too, and didn't seem to mind peeing with the common man.