A ceremony of life

I think everyone, once in a while, should absorb some cultural enlightenment. God only knows we need it. I had the honor of doing that today. Okay, I had to fly to New York to do it, but it was well worth it.

A friend of mine- a lovely, funny, sweet, smart, beautiful Indian woman- is expecting her first child. Her husband and his best friend planned (and carried off beautifully) a surprise baby shower.

Another friend of mine, Beverly Girl (BG), joined me as the only other non-Indian person at this very personal, very detailed Indian ceremony. I thought that with my fair skin and blonde hair that I might feel odd, somehow singled out in this group of mocha-skinned, lovely accented females but they were as warm in spirit and smiles as their food was HOT.

The mom-to-be (let's call her Radiance, since she was very radiant today) changed from her Western hemisphere attire into a traditional Indian sari. The melon-colored layering of silk adequately disguised her 7-month belly. Around her neck was a handmade necklace of fresh pink carnations. She looked beautiful.

She wore a multitude of delicate bangles in shades of red, gold, yellow and green to symbolize not only her married status but the future which would surely hold many years of happily married life.

Joining her husband on the sofa, the couple were showered with blessings from each of the women in the group. One by one, each was invited to dip a finger into a tiny bowl of magenta powder and lightly mark the forehead of the mother and father-to-be. A light showering with raw rice completed the best wishes. I was surprised and humbled when the women allowed me to join in this ceremony.

In India, the mother-to-be leaves her home after 3 or 4 months of pregnancy and lives with her mother until about 6 months after the baby is born. Such is the tie that binds mother and daughter.

The Indian women draped Radiance with another sheet of intricately decorated silk fabric and on it they placed numerous pieces of fruit and ceremonial gifts of silk. This is the gift the mother will take with her when she leaves her mother's home.

With that, the Indian ceremony ended and the American part began with presents and fabulous food (Indian, of course!) and cake. The joining together of two cultures in one simply beautiful day in New York.

A world power

I've always been proud of my city, but not necessarily my country. And this week has been just another example of good hearts stepping up to the plate when supposedly good minds have not.

My overseas friends may have heard that Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast of the US earlier this week. That simple statement doesn't come close to describing the magnitude of the devastation. Worst yet, people trapped in Louisiana and Mississippi are literally starving to death.

The media has shown images of dead bodies on the street and reports have come in of looting, shots fired at rescue helicopters and elderly people trapped in the attics of their homes. There is no clean water and no food. It is hell.

One Chicago man, John Maas, has decided to take matters into his own hands and try to save his Mississippi hometown. He was interviewed yesterday on WGN-TV and asked anyone who can help to please donate food, water, clothing, baby supplies, etc.

That was 24 hours ago.

This morning, the same man was interviewed in a warehouse and he has automobile-sized piles of bottled water, baby diapers and formula, canned food. He said that a local trucking company has offered to drive all the supplies down to Mississippi and help his hometown. (Way to go Chicago!)

From the WGN website:

We've been following the relief efforts of John Maas on our newscasts. If you'd like to help, you can drop off donations at: New Life Community Church and Center, 51st and Keeler (near Midway), 773/838-9470.
Mr. Maas is planning to leave for Mississippi Saturday morning.
To contact Mr. Maas directly:708-743-6562

That's one great guy!

What's our federal government doing? Well, the President JUST LANDED on the Gulf Coast today (four days after the hurricane). If I recall correctly, the President was in NY just ONE day after Sept. 11.

Of course, scores of media personnel have been on the scene for days. If the reporters can get there, why can't emergency personnel with food and water??

If you'd like to help, please contact the American Red Cross, Salvation Army or Catholic Charities.

One more thing....I'd like to give credit to CNN for its incredible coverage of the storm, the flooding and the aftermath. The news crew seems to be shifting its focus as necessary, showing rescues of stranded people from rooftops, interviewing survivors and letting them give names of people who are missing, and keeping up to date with the internet websites that are popping up to help survivors. (I guess I notice stuff like this because I used to be a reporter).

On a lighter note....contributions to the Katrina aid fund have been received from Britain, Japan, Australia and...Sri Lanka! God love em!!!

Why I quit smoking

When I heard someone shout my name at the Cubs game on Sunday, I turned around to see "DJ," someone I used to know in college. I haven't seen him in about 7 years. Quite the surprise. He looks the same, only bigger. (Why is it that women get old, but men get fat?)

Back then, he had tried to date me, but thankfully, I dodged that landmine and we became friends. He was fun to hang out with, had an interesting job and knew some fascinating people.

As usual, I was entirely too generous in my friendship with him, throwing him a 17-hour surprise birthday party (at his house). Prior to that, I had talked him into asking a woman to the Farm Aid concert (he later married, and divorced her).

Over the years, I've attended the birthday parties for his twin sons and have joined him for other special events where I've met his parents and siblings (who, apparently, still ask about me).

What happened, you may ask?

About one year after my divorce, I was asked to participate in a bachelorette auction. Needless to say, I was more than a little nervous, putting my entire self worth on display for a bunch of strangers to decide if I was worth bidding on. I decided to ask whatever male friends I had to attend and start the bidding.

I asked DJ and he said he couldn't afford it ($25), so I said I'd front the ticket. He said he didn't have a suit (didn't need one). He didn't have a previously scheduled work event, mind you. He had tons of lame excuses for why he couldn't help me. It occurred to me that he was NEVER there when I needed him.

Like smoking, my friendship with DJ was bad for me: expensive (in my time and efforts), damaging (in the numerous disappointments) with no real benefits (other than meeting fun people).

So I quit cold turkey.

When I saw him on Sunday, it was our first contact since the auction years ago. He said he figured I hated him since he hadn't seen me in a long time. But he didn't know why we lost touch. (He never made any effort to contact me).

I held no punches. "You were never there for me when I needed you. Being friends with you was too much work, so I quit."

It was like talking to a wall. My words had absolutely no effect. Teflon Man.

He chatted away about his parents and siblings. He's at the same job, but has a different wife (his third). She walked up as we talked and although I tried to direct my conversation to both of them, she seemed indifferent to my presence. I saw pictures of their combined family (his two boys, now teens, her teenage daughter, and their baby girl). I wonder how long this one will last?

You know? I can breathe better already.

And no, no sign of Cubfan and that is fine with me.