Monday, January 23, 2006

Taking a bite out of the Big Apple

After a short, but much-needed snooze, I awoke blurry eyed and looked out the window to see water and an emerging skyline. Sydney!! My heart started to race and I rubbed my eyes and looked for the icons of the Australian city, the Opera House and the Bridge. Confused, I didn't recognize any buildings and as I slowly became more awake, I realized my flight had not carried me around the world, but just across to the East Coast and it was New York's skyline outside my window.

That was my first and last moment of disappointment during my weekend in New York with Firecracker.

Escargot (thanks to Firecracker for introducing me to new gourmet opportunity), champagne, French food and friendly waves, honks and smiles from random New York men got the weekend off to a rousing start.

New and wonderful foods - - check!

After a Saturday morning breakfast of carbs and Starbucks, we wrestled through the Times Square crowds (damned tourists!!!) to the Times Square info booth where we purchased matinee tickets to "Avenue Q," billed as an adult Sesame Street. Hmmn?!?!

Tickets to Broadway show - - check!

Central Park was next on our list for Saturday afternoon activities. We strolled over hills and past picturesque ponds, stopping at a carousel to sip our teas and soak in the atmosphere that most locals probably take for granted.

Although the weather was cooperating, time was not. Our matinee time was approaching - - not quickly- - but we didn't want to rush our excursion back to the hotel. So, at 76th Street we said goodbye to Central Park and turned onto Central Park West for the trip "home."

Paramount Pictures was working on some movie scenes on the West Side so we stopped to gape, but since we didn't recognize any movie stars, we kept walking. Past Tavern on the Green, through Columbus Circle (resisting the opportunity to stop and shop), and past a long line of wannabees waiting in the cold for a chance to be the next "Top Model."

In a very Carrie Bradshow-ish move, I wore only 3-inch heels during my stay in the Big Apple (and my lower back and calves are screaming at me for it)!

Spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon in Central Park, looking as stylish as possible - - check!

Felt-faced characters with human arms shoved up their rumps sang songs about racism and homosexuality and actually "got it on" at one point during "Avenue Q." What a unique, funny and bizarre show made that much better by the drinks we had before the show started.

My favorite characters were the Bad Idea Bears. When you don't have much money, but buy a case of beer instead of paying the phone bill - - blame the Bad Idea Bears. I'm all over that!!! Where were these guys when I was getting married?!?! That was TOTALLY their idea!

But I digress...

After the show, Firecracker and I did a bit of unsuccessful shopping and headed back to the hotel empty-handed. Exhausted from the hike in Central Park and the show, Firecracker started to doze off.

NO!!!!!! It was my last night in New York (I said rather dramatically, as if I were a lifelong Manhattanite being exiled to Kansas City!) She stirred and soon we were making our way to a quaint little Italian restaurant not too far away.

Four courses of Italian food with wine accompaniments and music from a three-piece jazz band rekindled our adventurous spirit. Add to that the plan to join Firecracker's second-cousin and his roommate for drinks and we were ready to rock.

Firecracker and I were treated to probably the best evening either of us have had in months! And I DO mean treated! Wonderful gentlemen that they are, Cuz'n and his roommate paid for taxis, cover charges and drinks all evening! We had to argue with them to be allowed to buy a round! Too bad they were 1) family, and 2) in their mid 20s!

At one point in the evening, I was approached by a short, curly-haired guy who wanted to ask us some questions. Apparently, he was representing two unseen friends who wanted to dance with us. The deal, as offered, was that if I answered the questions correctly, the mystery friends would buy us a drink. If not, we had to dance with them for three songs.

How's YOUR math? Um, ONE drink or THREE dances?!?!? I don't think so (I may have been drinking, but I'm not stupid.) My curiousity got the best of me and I had to know the questions.
Dead brain cells prevent me from remembering the first question (which I guess I actually got right), but the second one was "What's the capital of Montana?"

"Helena."

"Um, okay. I have a tissue in my pocket and if I fold it up, how many times can I fold it?

"Well, if it's square, I think you can only fold it eight times."

Since we didn't technically have a deal, I got screwed out of a free drink. Yeah, whatever. I smiled, shook my head and walked by to our gang.

Totally inappropriate guys trying to pick us up - - check!

The taxi dropped us off at our hotel and both Firecracker and I were shocked to discover that was 4:15 in the blessed AM!?!?!? And we were both flying home later that day!

Clubbing till all hours in Greenwich Village - - check!

I'll have to get to work on a new list of "Things to Do" for the next trip - - Arizona!!! for Spring Training in 39 days!!!