Thursday, March 09, 2006

The battle of the bamboo

I realized that it's been awhile since I updated my loyal readers (both of you!) on the status of "Project Beach House."

The bamboo hardwood floor has been installed, the new custom-made oak closet doors have been hung, the sunny yellow painting has been done and I've spent waaaay too much time peeking in to admire the beautiful sanctuary that is now MINE!

Truth be told, I've been hearing odd popping noises coming from the still-empty bedroom. (It'll remain empty until the hallway - - a last-minute addition - - is completed.) It's not a repetitive sound like a clock ticking, just every once in a while and just loud enough to make me jump.

Is the room haunted?? Are the closet doors snapping off their hinges? Is the paint bubbling up and popping from some unseen heat source?

Oh, how I wish it was that easy!

Determined to discover the source of the mystery clatter, I tiptoed into the bedroom one sunny morning and squatted down and studied the individual planks of bamboo. And there it was, just as I feared.

A crack. And another one. And another one.

My heart sank.

Tiny cracks - -some only an inch long, some more than a foot - - appear on more than half of my brand-new bamboo planks.

My contractor, Polish Boy, came over and agreed with my assessment.
"Shit," if I can quote him.

The materials have a 30-year warranty and his work is guaranteed for one year, so now the battle begins. PB will call the distributor and discuss replacing the materials...

Oops, excuse me. PB just called me to discuss the latest chapter of my remodeling nightmare.

He plans to send a registered letter to the distributor (who has NOT called him back) and demand a refund for the materials. In the meantime, he asked me to look at samples of another manufacturer's floors and pick a new floor. He'll credit the amount I've already paid for the bamboo towards the new floor.

Trouble is, the new manufacturer does not offer bamboo and I kinda had my heart set on that. Oh well, maybe I'll like Brazilian cherry or something else tropical.

Lion King (the sequel)

Having lost two of three of our final regular season volleyball games last night, my team and I retreated to our favorite watering hole to drown our sorrows. During the walk over, one of the two married teammates mention that one of my other teammates took a liking to Firecracker when she filled in last week.

Hmmn??? Which teammate, I wondered? Was it Lion King? He's always so friendly to everybody that it's hard to distinguish between innocent bon homie and real flirting. Apparently, Lion King is great at talking to women but horrible at "closing the deal," as Married Teammate (MT) put it.

Lion King, Teacher and I sat at one end of our long table and since we are all single, the conversation inevitably turned to dating. I had previously invited both men (intelligent, over 35, employed) to a singles event that I attended with some girlfriends. LK apologized for not receiving the email in time to respond, but promised to make good on the next invitation.

And then the questions began...

"So, if we're going to be your wingmen, what kind of guy do you like?" asked LK.
So, I'm going to have two men finding dates for me? This could be interesting.

Over the next two hours and definitely more than two pitchers of beer, the questioning continued.

"What physical type? Tall? Short? Heavy? Somebody that works out?" LK and I have compared workouts in prior beer-fests. He's been working out since he was 16.

"I know you don't smoke, but would you date a smoker?"

Okay, that's when I got suspicious (so shoot me, I'm not too quick on the pickup--pun intended).
LK smokes.

"You said that you'd like a guy to be able to talk about his interests, things he's passionate about, right? For most of the season, I didn't know what LK did for a living because all he talked about was his volunteer work.

"What would be a romantic date?"
I had to mention that the idea of "romantic" is different for everyone.
"No, I mean YOU! What do YOU think would make a romantic date?"

Uh-oh! Did I mention that we've been drinking beer this entire time??

Long story short...we all walked back to our cars and said good night.

Deal left very much open.