Turns out, I'm going to be having surgery.
Just as an aside, if anyone reading this knows my family, please do NOT tell them. I'll explain why in a few minutes.First off, it's not major. In fact, it's out-patient (but I don't think the hospital will let ever-independent me take a taxi home, so I'll have to work on that). It's 'a girl thing' and I'll just leave it at that. NO! I'm not pregnant! You have to have sex for that, if I recall the details of Health Class correctly. Trouble is, there's a two-week recovery time.
Oh, did I mention that this will be my FIRST EVER surgery?? Yep, I've survived life on this planet without so much as an appendix scar. No broken bones, no sprained ankles. The worst 'injury' I've ever had is chicken pox. I figured God was saving up all of my aches and pains and then when I turned 50, I'd get hit by a truck!
Anyway, the organized side of me is trying to make sure my job responsibilities are covered. How f'd up is that? Anyway, the woman that filled in for me during my Australia trip said she'll be available. Probably. Since I haven't scheduled this yet, she's not positive.
My regular doctor told me about the recovery time, but I haven't spoken to the surgeon yet. (Geez! How grown-up this all sounds!) I have a few things to ask him since I'm new to this whole 'operation' thing.
Anyhow, one of our new colleagues has offered to pick me up from the hospital and tuck me in at home and even check up on me. She's only been at the company a few weeks, but we've really hit it off, even going to the Bulls game together the other night. And since she's in my age group, single, a Cubs fan and lives about a mile from me, this could be (borrowing from Bogie), 'the beginning of a beautiful friendship.'
So the ride home is covered (and I can take a taxi to the hospital, no worries there).
The Tour Guide suggested I ask my gay neighbors to keep an eye on me while I'm recuperating and I think that's a fab idea. I'll grab a bottle of wine and stop over in the next few days to see if they'll be around.
Even my Mexican friends who work at the neighborhood breakfast joint have offered to go grocery shopping for me while I'm down. How great are these people?
Why am I not letting my mother take over the mom-ing part and just stay at her house for the entire recuperating time? I could be waited on hand-and-foot for two whole weeks! This is the kind of thing my mother LIVES for!
Well, she's been in Florida since pre-Christmas caring for her terminally ill sister (her
only sister). Do I really want her to have to choose between her dying younger sister and her temporarily-incapacitated youngest daughter?
Nope.
Because my Mom might just choose incorrectly and fly home to care for me. And if (while watching me sleep on her sofa) her sister dies, how is she going to feel for not being there to say goodbye?
Getting the picture?
The second choice would naturally be one of my sisters who happens to be a nurse. Yep, she'd be the perfect advocate, talking medical stuff with my surgeon and making sure I'm propery drugged up. Couldn't ask for a more perfect sibling in this situation.
Except that she would rat me out to my mother the first chance she got. Why? Because she's like that.
I've already got books, magazines, cable TV, the internet and new Google phone to keep me busy, but I'll let you know when the big day is. Stay tuned.
