After a furious volley of emails, Lion King and I have decided that we'll be friends and have dinner some time. Dinner - - and nothing else.
I know what you're thinking, this could be trouble. I've been down this road before and the potholes are numerous. It starts out innocently enough with a lunch or dinner; later on, a dinner is followed by drinks; another dinner is followed by a whole slew of drinks and before you know it, you're making out in the corner of a dark bar.
THIS IS NOT GOING THERE.
Lion King even mentioned that we wouldn't work out as a couple anyway because of the whole Cubs/Cardinals business. This rang true when he pulled the holier-than-thou attitude that marks a true rat-bastard Cardinal fan.
There is a silver lining to this cloud, though. Although this is not supposed to be a dating situation, it might actually have the after-effects of one because, as they say, "nothing gets you a date like having a date."
I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The other shoe has dropped
Well, Firecracker must have been right. When I voiced my surprise that Lion King didn't send me an email thanking me for Friday evening's entertainment, she mentioned that maybe he didn't have my email at home.
Yesterday I received a thank you email from Lion King with the following:
"(LOL) I know because I'm one of those smokers you would never date me, however, would you consider us going out to dinner some time?"
AARRGGHH!!! What part of "I don't date smokers" doesn't he understand??? And what's with the LOL??? Does he think I'm joking??
Even if he didn't smoke, there are other issues, namely: he lives about an hour away so he's GU (geographically undesirable) plus he owns FOUR cats! Hey, I love animals just as much as anyone, but a single guy that owns four cats is pretty far down the road toward crazy-hood!
I know what you're thinking...we could go to dinner as friends.
As many women know, it's not possible to go for a platonic dinner with a guy who's really "into you." You try to be friendly and have a nice time, but pretty soon he's calling all the time, finding ways to "accidentally" run into you, emailing you every little mildly interesting junk mail he's ever received - - anything to keep in contact with you.
Oh, and there's the whole volleyball thing. Whatever happens here will definitely end up as post-game fodder for the team (at least I think so).
Yesterday I received a thank you email from Lion King with the following:
"(LOL) I know because I'm one of those smokers you would never date me, however, would you consider us going out to dinner some time?"
AARRGGHH!!! What part of "I don't date smokers" doesn't he understand??? And what's with the LOL??? Does he think I'm joking??
Even if he didn't smoke, there are other issues, namely: he lives about an hour away so he's GU (geographically undesirable) plus he owns FOUR cats! Hey, I love animals just as much as anyone, but a single guy that owns four cats is pretty far down the road toward crazy-hood!
I know what you're thinking...we could go to dinner as friends.
As many women know, it's not possible to go for a platonic dinner with a guy who's really "into you." You try to be friendly and have a nice time, but pretty soon he's calling all the time, finding ways to "accidentally" run into you, emailing you every little mildly interesting junk mail he's ever received - - anything to keep in contact with you.
Oh, and there's the whole volleyball thing. Whatever happens here will definitely end up as post-game fodder for the team (at least I think so).
Monday, March 27, 2006
Wingman schwingman
How to Woo a Woman (without actually saying the words) by Lion King:
Step 1: Accept her invitation with the (false) premise that you will help her meet other men.
Step 2: Call several times enroute to confirm arrival time.
Step 3: Engage her friends in conversation upon arrival. Give "intended" a short hug hello.
Step 4: Compliment her on her outfit.
Step 5: When she says something funny, laugh appropriately and place your hand on her arm.
Step 6: Only leave her side three times throughout evening (to smoke outside).
Step 7: Ask numerous questions about her likes and dislikes, tilting your head close to hers because the music is too loud.
Step 8: Pretending to be a wingman, wonder aloud why she isn't being asked out on dates all the time.
Step 9: When friends get up to mingle, immediately find a waitress to buy a round for just the two of you.
Step 10: Don't look away from the table at any time (okay, except for when that cheerleader character started throwing her long blond hair around).
And then....
NOTHING!!
Step 11: Leave at an appropriate hour, saying goodbye to "intended" with nothing more than a friendly hug and a "thanks for the invite."
Step 1: Accept her invitation with the (false) premise that you will help her meet other men.
Step 2: Call several times enroute to confirm arrival time.
Step 3: Engage her friends in conversation upon arrival. Give "intended" a short hug hello.
Step 4: Compliment her on her outfit.
Step 5: When she says something funny, laugh appropriately and place your hand on her arm.
Step 6: Only leave her side three times throughout evening (to smoke outside).
Step 7: Ask numerous questions about her likes and dislikes, tilting your head close to hers because the music is too loud.
Step 8: Pretending to be a wingman, wonder aloud why she isn't being asked out on dates all the time.
Step 9: When friends get up to mingle, immediately find a waitress to buy a round for just the two of you.
Step 10: Don't look away from the table at any time (okay, except for when that cheerleader character started throwing her long blond hair around).
And then....
NOTHING!!
Step 11: Leave at an appropriate hour, saying goodbye to "intended" with nothing more than a friendly hug and a "thanks for the invite."
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