Is it time to leave yet?

This time Saturday, I'll be winging my way to the West Coast en route to Australia. Yep, I'm going Down Under (I know that will excite some of you, but don't get too obscene!)

But this week has been truly bizarre. Kind of a "screw with The Writer before she leaves" type thing. Where do I begin?

My mom wanted to gather some of my siblings together to have a birthday dinner for me. Funny, in my 39 years on the planet, we haven't made that much effort. Needless to say, I declined.

I got a booty call (okay, I didn't ACT on it, but the call was received.)

Let me back up a bit...I attended a FABULOUS cocktail party at a ritzy suburban home last year at Christmastime. Since I didn't know anyone (not really) and the rich bitches at the party were being nasty to me, I stood by the bar and chatted up the pretty cute bartender.

By 2am, I had decided that I needed to go home. After all, I had to work in 6 hours! The neighborhood included a lot of very small curvy streets with very few streetlights so I wasn't sure how to get home. Bartender guy left around the same time as me and waited for me in the street. He offered to let me follow him to the on-ramp for the highway I needed to get home.

NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! (I could just tell that you guys were jumping ahead on this one!)

I gave him my business card and he called me a few times, but we never went out. He was too young, immature and bragged about all the "older women" he had slept with. Yuck!

Anyway, fast forward 10 months and he's calling me at 10pm on a school night. Apparently, he found my business card and decided to see "what I was up to." (Isn't that code?)

We talked for a bit and I discovered that he's moved to the city (renting a room! do real people actually do that? I thought only in old movies) and he's also an actor! Geez! Help me! Are there any adult men with steady jobs out there???

Needless to say, nothing will happen there. I didn't even keep his phone number.

Oh, one more thing. The Romanian martial arts teacher called me. I asked him if he was married and he said no, but he has a "friend." I asked if he has kids (since he loves teaching them so much). He hesitated but finally admitted that he has a baby.

He didn't think there was anything wrong with inviting me out for coffee or dinner. This sounded familiar. My European colleagues often got together for dinner or movies, even those of them that were married or "involved." The difference, however, is that the spouse/partner always knew us and often came along.

Romanian guy said he didn't want to hurt me (?) and doesn't think there's anything wrong with the invitation. (At the risk of sounding like a cultural enlightenment guru), I mentioned that in the future, it would be better if he owned up to having a girlfriend and baby before he invites single women to go out with him.

We'll see if I hear from him again...

Two guys calling me in one week. Boy! It's been too long since THAT happened. Wonder if Aussie guys are any better?

Oh, and YES, I do plan to post occasionally in Australia so stay tuned.