To prove that I'm not entirely committed to my self-imposed social quarantine, I participated in a three-minute dating event yesterday. The locale was an upscale dating mecca: a small, dark, terribly romantic restaurant full of 2- and 4-person tables. No highchairs and kiddie menus here.
Two groups of singles gathered at the event and then split into separate rooms: the 21-35 year olds in one room, the 33-48 year olds in the other. Each group featured approximately 20 men and 20 women. I say "approximately" because my group was 2 men shy of 20 which meant that two times in the next hour, I found myself sitting alone with no prospective Romeo to chat up.
Each participant was handed a scorecard numbered 1 -100 with Yes / No and a tiny space...for notes, I guess. The plan was for each woman to sit at her assigned table and the men would sit at each table for 3-minute "dates."
Easy enough, but just how much can you find out about a person in just three minutes? Geez! That's barely enough time to cook an egg!
For the most part, it was name/rank/serial number - -or in my case, name/city of residence/if divorced, kids or no kids and maybe, if there was time, occupation. It was more or less a case of instinct and instantaneous chemistry (or lack thereof).
As a whole, I have to say that it was a pretty diverse group of guys. I met two photographers, one chemical engineer, one corporate relocation executive, two firemen, one concert violinist and one guy from a northwest suburb who I wouldn't date if he was Donald Trump hiding in Tom Selleck's body.
Okay, I should expound on the suburban fellow and what made him so icky (for me, at least).
In the first minute or two of chatting, he made several disparaging remarks about the city (parking, traffic, taxes, etc.). We were given a $25 gift certificate to the host restaurant and he said he intentionally left his at another table because he "certainly wouldn't be coming here again."
He also mentioned that if we decided that we could be a match, we could certainly find a place to meet (for our date) that would be somewhere in the middle for both of us.
Um, wait a minute...You'll spend $45 to sign up and drive almost an hour to go to an event where you might possibly meet a woman to date, but you won't drive the same to actually go on a date with her???
Oh, did I mention that he said that if I didn't mark "Yes" but changed my mind later...and he handed me a poker chip.
"Are you a gambler?" I asked him.
"No, but I'm betting on you."
When you're finished retching, I'll tell you that I did NOT circle Yes for him, but I did for three others.
The event planners sent the participants the email addresses of the other parties if each circled Yes. The mismatches were listed as "missed opportunities."
I matched with one guy and, apparently, missed nine other opportunities.
Point of discussion: Ladies, how old-fashioned are you? Do you want a guy to pick you up for a first date? Do you expect to pay for anything?
Gentlemen, how far will you drive to meet a woman on a first date? Does that change later in the relationship? How much do you generally spend on a first date?
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4 comments:
I once drove 50 miles for a first date. She was a friend of a friend, so it was a "warm" first date. I continued to drive 50 miles or her to me for the two months we were dating.
As for what i'd spend - well The Writer knows what a font of generosity I am ;-)
Personally, I'd rather a guy didn't pick me up for a first date. I'd rather be able to catch a cab and get the hell outta there if things went south rather than show him where I live and risk having him walk me to the door. Wow, that sounds like I don't have a lot of optimism! Sorry!
You'll have to excuse Violet, she can be pretty negative sometimes.
Usually I don't want a guy to pick me up on a first date and I do expect to pay for my share of whatever it is we decide to do. Not old-fashioned, I suppose.
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