NOTE: IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH ABOUT BLOOD-AND-GUTS STORIES, DO NOT READ FURTHER.
As of one or two weeks ago, I was facing a minor surgery to remove six, count 'em SIX, fibroids. For those of you who haven't Googled this stuff, a fibroid is a non-cancerous growth that often grows inside women over 35. Sometimes they cause problems, sometimes not. They go away on their own when a woman starts menopause. Lovely, huh?
So, you can imagine my surprise when I woke up after a SIX-HOUR surgery that involved removing just two fibroids. No big deal, right? Two is better than six. When the surgeon used the word 'cantalope' to describe the size of one of the fibroids, that's when I really woke up!
Imagine a small football (15+ cm) lodged between a bunch of...let's call them 'girlie bits.' The issue, it seemed was not only the size of the growth, but the fact that wrapped around this offending blob was a crucial blood vessel and another pretty important ligament.
DaVinci robot to the rescue! This amazing bit of machinery helped my doctor to not only disconnect the vital artery without spraying blood all over the operating room, but also to chop up this blob into tiny bits that he could remove through a tiny incision. My doctor is a magician!
I wondered why I haven't been hungry in, oh, a month or two, but it seems this offending mass was pushing everything else out of its way. Ovaries smoooshed to the side, uterus squished to a tiny mass. It wasn't pretty. I saw some wonderfully graphic photos (which I hope to show here) that were taken by the surgeon during surgery. Cool stuff (if you don't puke looking at it) that showed how HUGE this fibroid was in comparison to the normal size of my uterus, liver, ovaries and other things you read about in eighth grade biology.
While trying to chop up this mass, the doctors were concerned they might not only nick the blood vessel but also might accidently disconnect my urethra (tube that allows pee to flow from the bladder outside the body). So, they did what any concientious doctor would do, they dyed my pee BLUE! You can imagine my surprise when I woke up and discovered Kool-Aid in my catheter.
My surgeon further explained that before they could even try to get to this huge growth, they had to blow me up, balloon-style, with a ton of gas to expand my inside and give them room to work. No big deal, except that my belly looks like a beer-swilling trucker's gut. Apparently, the gas also settles into strange spots like my shoulders and my neck so I really felt like I'd been run over by a truck. Weird. Guess I'll have to wait for the flat stomach that I was counting on.
Once the blob was gone, the surgeons realized that they couldn't just sew closed the remaining hole (too big). So, I have a sheet of some kind of mesh that they attached to the gap. How they were able to move all of these materials into and out of me with only the tiny holes remaining is pretty incredible. Kinda like moving a king-size bed through a car window.
Here...look.
No comments:
Post a Comment